Children need a responsible, not perfect, parent
Posted Tuesday, August 7 2012 at 18:50
Yours is a rather long and complex question that is difficult to answer in detail in the space available. I will therefore paraphrase the question as follows:- How does a single parent bring up teenage girls in this day and age?
A number of aspects that are clear in your question are very much in your favour. For example, you tell us that you have already managed to bring up a son who seems to be doing well.
You also say you have a good relationship with the girls and that all you now seek is to get closer even as you guide them spiritually.
You also seem like a person who has a high sense of self esteem and confidence because you would like your children to be brought up in the same way you were brought up.
Given all these, I see very little reason for you to worry about the girls. They have a good, experienced, God-fearing and confident parent who loves them dearly. You must be the dream parent for most teenage girls!
So what is the problem? Why is it that you feel inadequate as a parent? To reverse the question, what is wrong with you as a parent? In other words in what ways might you be failing your girls as a parent.
You confess to being “a conservative single parent”. Being conservative is not a bad thing but being unable to change with the demands of time might be.
Being a single parent is not a statement about being a good or a bad parent. Many parents are single by choice while the role is thrust on others by circumstances not of their choice.
You do not tell us how you became a single parent of three. Are you divorced, widowed or have never married? Did you become a single parent recently or have you been that way for many years?
Are you now in a relationship or have you decided to remain on your own? What is the nature of your support system for you and your children?
Are your parents alive? Do they live near you, and do you have brothers and sisters and if you do, do they live close by? Are your children close to their cousins, uncles and aunties?
You seem to be well grounded spiritually. What kind of church do you belong to and what is the nature of the support available to you and your children?
Do you have a fellowship group that you are close to and that can offer advice and guidance to you and your children?
What about the rest of your physical and psychological environment?