Define what you want out of life to be fulfilled

Kituku is a brilliant, successful, middle-aged professional who is increasingly frustrated at home and at work. No one seems to understand him or appreciate his efforts. He has stagnated at work, his wife is unresponsive at best and the children have little to say to him besides greetings and general niceties. 

Kituku is confused and lonely in a world that seems to be closing in on him. This is not what he wants to hear, but it is what he must hear. And you too.

You do not have goals. I know you think you do but what you have are most likely the everyday mundane tasks you could undertake with your eyes closed – an office presentation, meetings, babysitting and all those chores that make up your day. 

When you make an attempt at becoming a greater achiever, you have to set a few exciting goals. Exercising, getting a degree and finishing your CPA qualification all fall here. 

The purpose of a goal is to grow you. If it is not going to be uncomfortable and even painfully bend and stretch you in a thousand different ways, it is not going to grow you and you will soon ditch it. This explains the futile cycle of new year resolutions.

Set big, hairy, audacious goals that scare the daylights out of you. Think anything from starting a new venture to multiplying your income by ten within the year. 

Now, here’s your soup – what time do you wake up? Oh sorry, you’re not a morning person, right? You roll out of bed at 6am when those who are going somewhere with their lives have been up exercised, read a chapter of a great book, gone through their emails, packed their breakfast, ensured they look their best and are off to be the best they can be.

You still have to make it to your 7.30am status meeting so you make a dash for the shower and are out in ten minutes. Another fifteen minutes and you turn a few counter-tops upside down as you grope for your car keys and off you go. You hoot your way through traffic and get to the office at 7.25am. Phew! You’ve made the meeting. 

No, you are late. You’re half asleep, don’t look your best, you are unprepared and you feel sharp hunger pangs.

At 8.45am, you are calling Ciru the office gofer to get you a mandazi and three sausages from the vendor down the street. You catch up on your emails as you gulp down an overly sweetened cup of coffee – you are still tired so you need the caffeine and sugar. 

In no time, your 10am appointment is announced. Oh dear! It was today? You keep him waiting for 15 minutes as you look for the proposal he sent you last week in vain. He can always run you through it again anyway. He does. You are disconnected. He takes his killer marketing proposal to your competitor.  

Before too long, the entrée is served. Where did the time go? You stroll down to the nearest joint for some oily animal protein, a huge serving of carbohydrate and two mouthfuls of vegetables if at all. Whoa! It’s nearly 2pm so you lethargically stroll back to your table with the characteristic toothpick dancing on the left corner of your mouth. 

What? Your inbox is full again? This job is killing you, right? You take care of a few emails but by 3pm you are as productive as Humpty Dumpty. The clock on the wall is a little slow. Shouldn’t it be 5pm already?

A little Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, Solitare or whatever you fancy these days and it is 4.45pm. Phew! You have done your bit and can now quietly sneak out of this prison they call work.

Your local watering hole is abuzz. One, two, three for the road with the boys is the norm. You finally get home at 11pm. Your dinner is served up and covered conveniently near the microwave. Your beautiful wife and two children are already in bed.

You repeat this cycle year-in, year out. That’s life, isn’t it? Here’s your dessert served with as stern a look – where are you going? When will you get there? 

Lazy bones

Why you would indulge your lazy bones in sleeping until 6am, present yourself to the world looking slightly above unkempt, you are unprepared and barely make it for a weekly scheduled meeting, stuff your body with any unhealthy thing you can lay your hands on, not have control over your activities, be completely oblivious of the concept of time, do the bare minimum, completely ignore your family and expect that everything should look up for you.

Your wife, children, employer, the traffic, the cold season, or whatever else you would like to pass the buck to have nothing to do with the rut you are in. The only problem is that you are fast asleep while life is passing you by.

Others are up early to purposely pursue their greatness goals. They plan their days and take care of their nutrition, meaningfully contribute to their work, are prepared, honour appointments and respect other people’s time. They spend quality time with their families and are appreciated both at home and at work for it.

They are well on their way to those places you are only dreaming of in your slumber.

Ruligirwa-Kamara is an attitude and human potential expert.
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