Fear of speaking in public is common and curable

Recently, my boss asked me to make a presentation on behalf of the company. It was not until then that I realised that I suffer from speech anxiety. I was unable to perform as a public speaker and I feel terrible. What can I do about it?

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Once in a while I get fairly straightforward questions, and yours is one such. You suffer from a variant of social anxiety disorder (SAD), which is a common condition, but one that is not often spoken about.

Some years ago we used to run a support group for people with SAD. We managed to help a number of people with the type of condition that you seem to have.

In one case, a man was unable to work in a regional sales capacity for what on the face of it was a silly reason. He could not sign his name in any hotel lobby! Due to this fear, he avoided travelling for many months at a time.

When his boss insisted that he must travel, he broke down in tears and confessed.

In another case a businesswoman developed a complex strategy to deal with the problem of signing cheques at the bank. Hers was the fear of signing at the counter.

Whenever she needed to cash she would create an excuse to get into the manager’s office for the ceremony of signing the cheque while she distracted him from looking her way.

When the manager left, her scheme collapsed and the need for help became acute. In a case similar to yours, a 45-year-old woman lived in what she called “hell”. Ordinarily a very strong and confident woman, she had been elevated into the leadership of many women’s groups, mostly church-related.

All went well for as long as the groups were small and no formal speeches or presentations were called for. Her success was to become her undoing.

Her peers looked up to her to be their spokesperson. At first she lived her anxiety in great shame, developing in the process ways of avoiding being spotted and asked to speak. When, for example, she went to a funeral meeting in the neighbourhood she ensured that she was late, just in case she was asked to say the opening prayer.

She would also leave early in case a closing prayer was required.

In such gatherings she made sure she spent most of the time either in the kitchen or busy serving people food.

In small groups she was a brilliant preacher to fellow women. Whenever pressure was applied on her to preach to a larger group she would feign a headache, or cold, or some other illness. She came to us when her relationship with her best friend was about to break up. She had been asked to speak for the mother of the bride at a forthcoming wedding.

Everybody knew how close the two women were as they had brought their children up together. When she declined this privilege her best friend was furious.

When she accepted the role, she ended up in hospital.

She could not sleep for several days before the wedding. Her hands were always wet with sweat, her heart was pounding all the time and any noise made her jumpy.

On the wedding day she became a bundle of nerves. The combination of lack of sleep, anxiety, excitement and expectation of a big crowd was simply too much for her.

When she got up to speak, her mouth was dry, her heart was racing, breathing became rapid and shallow, she was sweating and shook like a leaf. It was at this point that she fainted and was rushed to hospital.

The bride’s mother thought she had killed her best friend, while the patient felt guilt and shame for letting them all down.

Danger was over

When her system “realised” that the danger posed by public speaking was now over, she recovered. The wedding was a sad affair without her. She told this story many times in her group sessions because she had been treated successfully and was able to speak to crowds.

One could go on describing social anxiety disorder, but it must be clear to you now that this is what you suffer from. More importantly, the condition is treatable.

One other fact that confuses the lay person is how one can fear such a small thing as speaking in public.

Those unable to speak before a crowd cannot understand how one can fear signing a document in public. Those afraid of heights laugh at those who fear closed spaces.

Often, those with one type of phobia laugh at those with what they consider to be a “silly” fear.

It might be a good idea for you to Google anxiety disorders and you will discover other phobias including that of flying, insects, open spaces and dirt.