Living in hell under demanding boss? What to do for a change

This is a story about the worst boss — the most demanding of them. I see you thinking to decide which one. Don’t worry. I am referring to the boss for whom you can never do anything well enough. You frequently wonder how it is that you manage to stay on the payroll.

You remain there because this boss has little choice on your tenure. A boss that is literally forced to have you around means that you are in a serious trouble.

Your suggestions are met with criticism. Each of your completed tasks is received with an unhelpful comment and a reluctant appreciation that is usually muttered under the breath.

Your attempts at understanding how you could win the boss’s acknowledgement are met with reminders of the mistakes you have made and a verbal tirade on why you are unsuitable for the position you hold.

In fact, your boss has flatly told you on several occasions that you cannot do this work. You do not fit the bill and should not waste your and everyone else’s time at it.

“Wasn’t this to be completed by yesterday? Is this the best input I can get around here? There have to be better brains to handle my work requirements than yours, aren’t there? I must review brief to the recruiters!”

Yes, the string of complaints and you have reached the end of your tether.

Just when you think that you cannot handle any more unpleasantness, you are faced with more.

Your appraisal is here and your boss sees no reason your pay should be improved. You are a performer, your productivity track record speaks for itself and you are not only working on your improvement areas but recording great progress at it.

Your boss knows this but you still will not get a raise under his/her watch. What does he/she want from me, you ask.

Haven’t I demonstrated my loyalty and commitment to this company? Do the results of my input not count for anything?

What can I say? Life is indeed unfair and as I said; he/she is one of your worst bosses. He/she will never be satisfied no matter what you do.

What is one supposed to do when your boss seems to want a mention in the Guinness Book of World Records for being your most annoying critic? Unfortunately, you too are stuck here.

You cannot quit this thankless job and hope to find a better boss elsewhere because this boss is the same person who looks right back at you when you look in the mirror.

But, you win some and you lose some. You know how much you’ve grown. The milestones you have hit to record the progress you now boast of. Forget about the naysayers, however loud they may be. What you appreciate is the universal law of appreciation.

If you do not appreciate it, it is starved of the attention and energy it so desperately needs to keep growing. Eventually, it dies off.

Oh, I know that is easier said than done. I will admit that it is hard and that is alright because you have no obligation to do it all at one go. Give it time. Be patient with yourself. Wait.

Inner critic

While you do that, start acting in spite of the loud voices in your mind. Act in spite of your fears. Act in spite of your inner critic. Act consistently. With sustained action, surprisingly pleasant things begin to happen.

As you do this, you may go back to listening to the voices and recoil in fear once in a while. You will fail on some occasions and your inner critic will gleefully say: “I told you so!”

Again, forget about the naysayers. Very soon, they realise that the writing is on the wall; their days are numbered. Go on; pick yourself up and act again. You will be bolder this time.

And if you should fail again, at some point, you will forget to criticise yourself and then you will find yourself actually growing confidence in your abilities.

It may just be for a moment but in that most wondrous and joyous moment, you will for the first time experience firsthand what I have always known and believed about you.

That you are created with the unlimited ability to do, have and become anything you have ever dreamed of. And your life will never be the same again.

Seraphine is an attitude and human potential expert. Email: [email protected].