Interviews for dream jobs are not for the faint-hearted
A job interview can be a stressful experience, but it is always easier if you’re prepared and know you have what it takes. File
Interviewing candidates for a role is an exhausting, tedious and sometimes comedic experience. My research has produced some of the top five most unusual experiences by Human Resource practitioners at interviews.
Number 5: the candidate announced she had not had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and chips in the interview room. Number 4: the candidate said her long-term goal was to replace the interviewer. Number 3: a balding candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a toupee (small wig). Number 2: the candidate interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions. And the number 1 most unusual experience was when the candidate dozed off during the interview!
Watching the recently concluded process of identifying the successful candidates for the Chief Justice and Deputy Chief Justice roles was both exhilarating and illuminating not only for curious Kenyans but also for future job seekers of public or private office. Exhilarating because for the first time in Kenya’s history, its entire citizenry was given a front row seat to observe the rigorous process of determining the suitability of candidates for the Judiciary’s highest offices. Illuminating because the interviewing exercise demonstrated the kind of experience, work history and tangible evidence of personal impact that candidates are expected to illustrate before they can be considered for high office.
But first let me begin by congratulating ALL the candidates who placed themselves in the cross hairs of the interviewing panel. It takes an inordinate amount of maturity, strength of character and profound aplomb to sit in front of several panellists, numerous cameras and the innumerable hangers on in the background and be grilled about your past, present and undefined future. It also requires an almost herculean effort to zone out the fact that thousands of Kenyans are watching you as you reach out with limp and sweaty hands to sip a glass of water and slake your thirst as you compose your thoughts and cool off your body boiling over with the smouldering heat from an intense torpedo of questions. I salute you all.
Many of us would have caved in from far less scrutiny, collapsing into an ignominious heap of misery, tearing our clothes and retreating into our lairs to lick our festering wounds.
Truth be told, the interviews for the Chief Justice revealed a number of lessons for any one wishing to apply for a job whether in public or private office. Firstly, always be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. That the interview panel had before it previous judgments made by the candidates as well as snippets of public opinion and perception of the candidates’ behaviour, was evidence that your past will always come back to haunt you. Hence the lesson learnt is what you do today will always impact what you will be able to do tomorrow.
As you scream at your subordinates, fail to respond to work related requests or trample on genuine work grievances be afraid, be very afraid. Secondly, do not assume that years on the job are the determinant of job suitability. Many discerning interview panels today have come to the apt realisation that a number of professionals have been promoted to their level of incompetency and the role of that panel is to put a screeching halt to the unmerited runaway train of an upward career trajectory. You know the kind of professionals I am talking about who kowtow to the whimsical needs of the powers-that-be only to be rewarded with promotion after promotion based on their brilliant brown-nosing capabilities rather than professional achievements.
When there is a shifting of sands and change of guard at the top, such individuals will eventually meet their career Waterloo. They need to be afraid, be very afraid. Thirdly, always read the body language of the interview panellists. If your panellists are leaning forward or sitting upright in their seats as you are answering your questions then it is very likely that you have captured their attention and they are keenly listening to your responses.
If the panellists are incessantly shuffling papers before them, gazing at a fixed spot on the wall behind you or, God forbid, texting on their phones while your interview is going on then two words should come to mind: TRAIN SMASH. It’s over you have lost the panellists’ attention.
Time slot
You might as well start chatting about Manchester United’s 19th English Premier League title win and hope to get a raised eyebrow or some other sign that some one is listening to your inane dribbling. Chances are you might find a Chelsea fan amongst the panellists who will still be bristling at the thought of the title loss and he will fire back a barb, waking himself up in the process.
Finally, take note of which time slot you have been given for your interview. A morning interview is easier as the panellists are, or should be, freshly rested. If you get the slot after lunch, you had better have the effusive charm of Barack Obama, the wicked wit of Winston Churchill as well as the dual but interchangeable oratory and dancing skills of Dr Bonny Khalwale.
All those attributes combined will dazzle your panelists who, having eaten a lunch replete with slow release carbohydrates are typically wont to doze off as blood flow is redirected to the stomach to facilitate digestion, starving the brain in the process and resulting in the comatose look that often afflicts afternoon interviewers.
But then again, my research above has shown that as others have done, you as the candidate can doze off in the interview too. Seriously though, the Chief Justice interview process should cause us to pause and consider whether we really have what it takes to apply for a job or whether we have been belabouring under self inflated illusions of capability and grandeur. As we apply for jobs perhaps we need to be afraid, very afraid.
