Pastor makes my bad weekend worse with endless verses

Last weekend was not a good weekend for me at all. To begin with, I was painfully broke so was stuck in the house and my pride would not allow me to call any of my buddies at all and ask them if we could hang out.

The frost between Shiro and I has thawed slightly since we have to talk to each other because of our son Maingi who seems to be enjoying going to the very expensive school.

I am thinking on how to manage my side hustle but I am at least consoled that based on my performance rating, I might just get some funds to inject in my business.

Back to my weekend. There I was on Saturday watching the Highlights from the African Cup of Nations. Shiro said she had to go for a Chama Breakfast meeting, a fact I did not mind one bit since I would have to deal with thinking about the baby.

At about midday, the doorbell rang persistently and I furiously opened the door. I was shocked to see our Pastor at the door and I quickly told him, “I am sorry my wife is not around, she has gone for a meeting.”

The Pastor laughed and said, “Brother Josphat! It is not your wife I came to see, actually it is you.”

At the back of my mind I could hear a voice saying, “Does this man think I want to get saved?” He looked quite determined so I figured I might as well welcome him into the house. So I told him, “Come in and let me change” I was dressed in my shorts and a random T-shirt and, to be honest, I had not even taken a shower.

The Pastor told me, “Do not worry! This will not take long.” Those words made me sigh in relief and I told him to sit down and relax. The Pastor then said, “Would you be kind enough to switch off the television and to tell the nanny to take Junior to another room.”

He sounded polite and kind and I had no choice but to oblige. When the nanny came in one would think she had seen God as she said excitedly, “Pastor! It is so nice to see you! Can I get you a cup of tea?”

Only then did I realise I had not been the picture of hospitality for our guest and I giggled as I responded, “Sorry Pastor, did not offer you anything to drink or eat.”

The Pastor made a great ceremony of taking his tea and bread before finally, with a cough, he indicated he was ready to start having a conversation with me.

His conversation was quite lengthy, an hour to be exact and his main message was about “My behaviour toward the baby.” The long and short was that Shiro had spoken to him about my “hostility towards the baby” and he said that “after praying and fasting, I feel compelled to talk to you.”

Cost of living

He recited all manner of scripture about how I need to accept the child because children are gifts from God and I should not be having “disagreements with the wife about a child.”

I was really annoyed and upset that Shiro had found it fit to share our intimate conversation with a stranger and she clearly had exaggerated my sentiments.

I told him that my resistance was based on “pure economic and cost of living considerations.” He cut me short and said I need not worry and “take it to the Lord in Prayer.”

I was upset but realised I would not win this. So I just surrendered and let him lecture for another 30 minutes about how it was Christian-like to accept the baby. When he asked me to get saved I quickly responded emphatically, “No! Not today.”

As soon as he left, all I could think about is how badly I needed to get out of my house. So imagine my shock when my phone rang and the name of my former colleague Shiro appeared on the screen.