Here is what affects life of grandparents

Q “My grandmother often complains of unexplained bouts of worrying, should this be a matter of concern?”

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First and foremost, I would like to know how old your grandmother is. For some people, grandmother hood comes early while for others it is a long wait to the enjoyment of the status. It is in this context to first underscore the importance of grandparents in evolution of the human race. Until about 30,000 years ago, this group of people did not exist. Life was until then fast and furious and humans lived only up to the age of 30. Once reproduction was dispensed with, life came to an end.

Life was only meaningful for those who were helpful in the business of life and not for those who only consumed without producing or reproducing. By the age of 30, most of the women had been on the production line long enough and many had died at childbirth. The men, at the same age died either in wars or equally often were killed by wild animals. In those days, 30 year olds were the elderly of the day. Past that age, nature had no further use for you.

In time however, nature ‘discovered’ that older people could be useful members of society and the age of the human race begun to increase steadily over the centuries. A number of roles were occupied by older people. Older people for example knew from experience which fruits were good for humans and which were not. They also knew which water sources were good and reliable and which were not. When it came to war, they had the experience on the battle field and could advice on strategy. They knew where to hide and where to attack from. They also knew the best hunting routes.

Grandparents became useful at home as well. As the young men went hunting, young mothers had time to tend the fields and look after home as grandparents spent time with the children releasing their children to do other things.

Indeed some believe that it is because humans lived longer that creativity in music and the arts became possible. The extra time available enabled man to engage in things that did not produce food but were enjoyable. At last, nature had found a role for a new creature called grandparents.

Today, many grandparents play a similar role by taking care of the grandchildren while young parents take time off either to develop careers or simply go out for some well deserved rest on a Friday night.

Grandparents are themselves wired in such a way that this responsibility comes with great pleasure. All are happy including the grandchildren who enjoy the freedom from the watchful eye of parents.

Some studies suggest that young grandparents are good for families, suggesting that the longer children spend time with grandparents the better. Younger grandparents are healthier and stronger and possibly better able to engage the young ones.

Another thing that affects the relationship between children and their grandparents in how they each experienced life. There are for example grandparents who are either sickly, rural or both while others are young, well educated and responsive to modern technology. There are some grandparents who have good relationships with their in laws while others are hostile. Others have good and some bad relationship with their own children. All these factors might be at play in making your grandmother happy or sad.

In your case, she sounds like a woman full of constant sorrow and you would like to know why this might be the case. One of the more recent discoveries in the field of mental health is the role played by loneliness in the causation of depression and suicide among the elderly all over the world. There are an increasing numbers of men and women who live alone often in sickness following the death or departure of the spouse, the children or both. Loneliness is an important cause of worry by the elderly. Is your grandmother lonely?

A few weeks ago we say a 70-year-old grandmother from Kiambu who lives alone. Her state of anxiety and worry was most genuine. What would happen to her if she fell ill at night? She developed and anxiety disorder that would not respond to any medical intervention. A daughter volunteered to live with her following the death of her own husband and the support they gave each other ensured they both blossomed.

I do not know what is causing your grandmother so much anxiety but if you can, please ask her and you might find out that she is lonely and misses human company!