As I waited in the lobby to meet Mutinda Mutuku, the President of the Institute of Quantity Surveyors of Kenya, I started reading Richard Ford’s book: The Sportswriter. The novel begins with a short introduction. For life to be worth anything, Ford writes at the top of page two, “you must sooner or later face the possibility of terrible, searing regret. Though you must also manage to avoid it, or your life will be ruined.” And this is important why? Because the world handles you more carelessly if you let it.
Mutuku proffers another life lesson, perhaps regret? “Our parents may not be perfect, but they deserve to be honoured.” He insists on this point.
Himself a father, he confesses that he strives to be present for his children. There is a longing in his heart, in his carefully curated words—he is a busy man, you see, and may not always reach his ideals, a missed opportunity, like a holiday that falls on a Saturday. Listening to him speak is like watching something in pieces continually striving to be whole.
Getting elected as the President of IQSK [Institute of Quantity Surveyors of Kenya] in May. Each country, represents itself at the Africa Association of Quantity Surveyors, which is where I sit as well, attending their forums and getting to know more people.
Was there a particular moment during the year that changed how you think about things?
Every time you come to situations or people, that sometimes shifts your thinking and influences how you view things. Leading IQSK I have 10 council members and a varied pool of demographics in the institute: students, graduates, and senior people in their 70s and 80s. I am intentional about being inclusive, making every member feel part of the institute. We are celebrating 30 years as IQSK as well; we started in June of 1994. Meeting all these people has changed my perspectives—different sets of skills on how to engage.
How have you been taking care of yourself throughout the year?
Physically, I do a spin class on Monday, religiously this year. I look forward to Mondays because of that. But I also play golf and a round of golf helps us focus and get away from phone calls and people and get some clarity. I have not been much of a reader this year but I am working on it. I am also raising my children and that has its own reward.
When did you pick up the spin class?
Sometime late last year but I have done it more this year. I wish I could have more time for the gym but I don’t. I spin every Monday from 5.30 am to 8am.
What are you thinking about on the spin cycle?
It is more like an escape, like golf. I am thinking about my day and what is on my plate for that week, sorting and organising.
Have you introduced your children to any of the sports that you do?
Two of them play golf, and one is actually a better golfer than me.
What do you use golf for?
Golf is a beautiful sport because you have everything in your hands. You play a bad shot and you can’t blame anyone. It teaches you how to manage your anger—it is the same thing as life, you can go through life blaming people, but you realise you are 80 percent part of what is going on. Something happens and takes you off tangent, but how you react determines where you will end up. Things are bad, but don’t let them get worse.
Are you easily angered?
Golf has taught me to be able to look inward and see my role in it. How do I minimise the damage? I have learned to control myself.
Mutinda Mutuku, the President of the Institute of Quantity Surveyors of Kenya.
Photo credit: Lucy Wanjiru | Nation Media Group
What tests your patience?
I expect people to do the very bare minimum. I don’t like to struggle with small things—let’s fail with big things, not failing to use your common sense or planning. I don’t have to micromanage you.
How are you remaining spontaneous in your life?
Planning is key in everything. Being spontaneous is hard when you are not structured and planned—you can be spontaneous within a plan.
What’s your idea of a simple life?
Haha! [long pause] An environment where we all coexist—you get me, I get you. We are not walking on eggshells, just understand each other and support one another and are aligned in terms of expectations. I do my part you do yours.
What is the most important decision a man can make in his life?
Haha! Finding the right partner. If you have the right support system, the sky is the limit. You’ll be happy and you’ll do marvellous things.
What is an aspect of yourself you had to alter when you found your partner?
There is no perfect partner but being able to narrow down the differences. At some point, you will have to compromise.
In your experience, which one has been easier—being a husband or a father?
[Chuckles] I love being a father.
What’s your fatherhood philosophy?
I may not practice it 100 percent but at the very basic level is to be present, physically, but that is tough because you also have to provide and work, and that is a challenge for many fathers. Bringing up people is for a period and then they are gone—to be there for their school functions, homework et al. Presence is key for a father, even if I am not doing anything.
Was that how you grew up?
No. My father wasn’t always present but this is now a personal goal for me to be present and enjoy every moment. This is not something you can go back and recreate.
What are your children teaching you about life?
That life is not what I always thought it was—they are showing me there is much more than just school, work et al. The world is different and their view of life is too. They see success differently from succeeding in school, getting a job, work, and family.
What do you remember most from your childhood?
The hunger to succeed and do better and excel. The promise of a better life if you work hard and be successful, irrespective of whether it is academics you still have to do well in other things to be truly successful. You have to do the work.
What would you change about how you were raised?
Not much. A lot of us are a product of how we were brought up. I’d appreciate the path I have walked.
It’s the festive season, what are your plans?
I am going to Ukambani. I remember Christmas growing up as the time of family coming together and eating mbuzi. That’s the plan for us, to enjoy with the nuclear and extended family—I am the sixth born in a family of seven.
How are you winding down as you close the year?
People depend on our work since we are quantity surveyors, there are contractors who need to be paid and who need evaluations, so tying up and closing things cannot wait till January.
What is the soundtrack of your life right now?
Memories by Maroon 5. It really has no context.
What matters less than you thought it would?
Material wealth. It is good but now that you have it, it is not what life is entirely about.
What matters more then?
Happiness.
How are you keeping yourself happy?
Making a difference in people’s lives. How do I make a positive impact on someone—and make them do better?
What have you finally come to terms with?
That some things in life are just meant to be, not everything is up to you, no matter how hard you try.
What do you need more of in your life?
Support in the sense that if you know me, you get me, almost anticipates what you want to do in a certain situation.
What do you know that I should know?
The value of parents. They may not have been perfect but they are our parents, and they deserve to be honoured—however they were, and however they are.
