I have come to accept that having a life coach is not such a bad thing after all; it really makes a difference.
Some time ago, Amisi told me that one of my weak spots is “the need for constant validation” and my “ inability to say no”. I must say that I found this summary a bit too harsh but over time, I have come to see that he does have some valid points.
Take yesterday for example. I was having a chat with Lucy my newest colleague. “Josphat, are you free to have a celebratory dinner?” Lucy asked. “ What for? Have we booked a new deal?” I asked. “No we have not,” she said. “But today the CEO said that our annual report looks very good, and he says that the board also shares his sentiments.”
I felt something tug at my heart because for the last three years, I have never even once heard my CEO compliment my hard work on the annual report. I was feeling bad inside but I feigned a laugh and said, “does it mean that the ones we did in the past are not any good?”
Lucy must either be very tactless or naïve for she said,” I do not know for he said that the ones we have done in the past have been too basic, nothing to write home about.”
This feedback really annoyed me. “Then why do you want some of us in the dinner?” I asked.
She said: “ C’mon Josphat, you know I could not have done it with you, we were and are a team.”
I was even more galled that she seemed to be taking full credit for the annual report yet I had done most of the work. I was so enraged at the thought. “I would love to come but sadly I cannot, I have other plans,” I said.
Imagine my annoyance when she marched on. “ Well, I guess I will have to ask Rachel from the marketing team if she can join us,” she said. I was hoping that she would beg me a bit more but clearly I was misguided.
Just as I was ruminating over my conversation, I received a call from Shiro. She sounded very excited. “I found it!” she said. I was lost for words. “Found what?” I irritatingly asked. “The house,” she replied.
This is when it all came flooding back to me. A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with Shiro. “Babes we should move to a new house,” she had said.
“What is wrong with this one? I had asked. “It suits us just fine.”
She proceeded to share her issues with the house which mainly hinged around something about, “the lack of natural light, the constant feeling of claustrophobia.”
I did not understand her complaints. “ I do not think this house is that nasty, plus we agreed that we need to save up and buy our own house,” I said.
She then proceeded to share even more about how she finds it hard to invite people over owing to the lack of natural light and how the neighbourhood is not good for our children.
She summed it up by saying, “listen why don’t you let me look around, see what is in the market and then we discuss.”
Since I wanted to avoid conflict I said, “yes maybe you can do that and then we discuss, but make sure you do not burst the budget.”
The issue had completely left my mind until the excited phone call from Shiro. Basically, she has found a house with lots of natural light, lots of space and one that is in the right neighbourhood. When I asked her about the rent she said, “do not worry I can top up.”
I was tempted to go ahead and say yes and then I remembered Amisi’s comments and I said,” I think we have to say no this time, since it will mess up our budget.” All I heard was Shiro loudly saying, “What did you just say?” before she hang up on me.