Your ideal is that beautiful dream that effortlessly floats into your mind while you sleep. PHOTO | FILE
Let us commence the year on a clear appreciation of the difference between goals and ideals.
Goals are targets that we set for ourselves to achieve within a specified period of time.
Goals usually require that we make adjustments in our lives to achieve them. These adjustments range from saving up money to influencing the involvement of others and everything in between.
Picture the centre of a darts board that you need to aim at. The board just sits pretty on the wall. You on the other hand must make the effort to dart it just at the right point to win.
This requires that you adjust your body position, your gait, your arm angle, you probably need to squint, close one eye and even bend a little to take the right shot.
An ideal on the other hand is a personal vision of the best possible thing, person or situation that deserves to be in your possessions, presence or circles.
Picture a beautiful dream of whatever suits your fancy that effortlessly floats into your mind while you sleep. Notice the difference already?
Getting a better job a goal or starting a business are goals. Losing weight is a goal. Making more money is a goal.
Too often, we run around doing impressive mileage chasing the wrong things. Interestingly, these wrong things are very evasive leaving us in a perpetual rushed race to achieve them.
Wanting to get a better job, fit within a specific apparel size or record an impressive bank balance are all not strong enough endeavours to ignite the fire in us to go the full nine yards on our underlying desires.
This is the reason why the minute the processes become even a little hard or slow or unexciting, we give up and find excuses to explain our lack of achievement.
We instead switch to telling the all-too-common tales motivated by self-pity to anyone who cares to listen. “I do not have the right qualifications”. “It’s in the genes, you know; my whole family is big-bodied”.
“I do not have the money to invest, clients take too long to pay”, and the list goes on.
We do not go all the way through to enjoy the fruition of our goals because our goals are really just side-effects of the real stuff that we should be aiming for. Ideals are the name of the personal leadership growth game.
You see; unlike goals, ideals are deep. Ideals are the perfect situations that you innately know are meant for you in every sphere of your life. You know this to be true and sometimes without any tangible proof.
Ideals are very personal. They are what you actually do care about when all is said and done. Anyone can tell you what you want because they will presumptuously base it on what they themselves want.
That will usually be totally untenable for you because it is an imposition of their programming on you. This is the reason that makes; “Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?” a common objection to advice.
All the rules, norms and generally expected and accepted ways of being are someone else’s creation. Think about it; except for tiny percentage, most people around you are conditioned to execute other people’s expected and accepted ways of being.
Let’s take a few of these for a spin; “African culture dictates that women eat in the kitchen after the men and children have had their fill”, “Good wine is not sweet or red wine is best drank at room temperature”, “Men don’t cook or cry”... I’m sure you can fill a page with more of these.
Come on, now! It is the year 2017. With all due respect, why would I allow the opinions of people who had no idea about the life I would live today to dictate how I live it? In my house with my family eating my food I will eat anywhere from the stove to the stairs and all the spaces along that route.
My sons and husband can feel emotion and express it. When they are hungry, they will saunter into the kitchen and fix a meal.
If I spend my hard-earned money buying a bottle of wine as my chosen refreshment to enjoy in my space, I and I alone reserved the right to decide how I drink it. My point is that I have not anointed any person to dictate how I eat, drink and live.
Let us pause here for a moment and think about the thoughts that you entertain, the feelings they spur and consequently the actions and inactions that you are engaged in on any given day.
What a limited existence we allow other people to impose on us yet we are aware that our possibilities are without end.
Now, what you desire is a totally different matter. No one on earth can purport to tell you what that is. It is not a verbal conversation you can have with anyone.
Our ideals become crystal clear when we hold inaudible monologues borne out of long, patient and sustained effort in self-education and introspection.
It is the personal process of finding meaning in our lives and articulating our purpose every minute of everyday.
From practicing good nutrition and nurturing good health to doing meaningful work that resonates with our purpose, for example, are ideals that make goals unnecessary.
When we are driven by ideals, we inevitably maintain a healthy body weight and naturally deliver outstanding output that people will pay our asking price for.
Which will it be for you this year; goal or ideal?
Seraphine is an expert in attitude and human potential: Email: [email protected] @SRuligirwa.
PAYE Tax Calculator
Note: The results are not exact but very close to the actual.
