Parents of adolescents are often confronted with many challenges. How do you protect your child’s mental health? As a mother, how do you explain wet dreams to a teenager?
And every aspect of being a parent has become more complicated and more fraught in this modern digital era.
First, there is the threat to their health, especially mental health sparked by body shaming, cyber-bullying to gender dysphoria, where some teenagers struggle with the sense that they might be a mismatch between their biological sex and gender identity.
Then there is alcohol and substance abuse, pregnancies to dealing with body changes such as wet dreams.
Why should you be concerned about your adolescent’s health?
Dr Pauline Samia, the chair of the department of child and adolescent health and a consultant paediatric neurologist at Aga Khan University Hospital says many health-related behaviours that emerge during adolescence have consequences that last into adulthood.
“Adolescence provides an opportunity to promote healthy lifestyles that will have far-reaching consequences in adulthood. This includes cultivation of healthy interests beyond school and employment such as keeping fit, teaching them how to build mental resilience, having positive family values, giving back to the community and proper eating habits,” she says.
The biggest health threats to Kenyan teenagers, Dr Angela Migowa, a pediatric rheumatologist and an assistant professor at Aga Khan University Hospital, says include mental health, alcohol and drug abuse, early pregnancies, and HIV/Aids, among others.
So, how do you pick up on the onset of anxiety and depression in your teenager?
Dr Migowa says the 10 warning signs to look out for include; sadness and despair, poor sense of self and self-belief, anger and irritability, tearfulness and crying, social withdrawal and loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
Also, you should watch out for changes in eating and sleeping patterns, excessively harsh view of the self, agitation or lack of motivation/boredom, poor energy and concentration, and self-harm or suicidal ideation
Medical check-ups for teenagers are important. Dr Migowa says the recommended tests for adolescents fall into three main categories:
1. Immunisations are shots to prevent commonly-known diseases. These include chickenpox, measles, mumps, rubella, polio, the flu, Hepatitis A and B, HPV, pneumonia, and meningitis.
2. Screening tests are examinations or lab work done to find diseases or conditions early when they are easier to treat.
Recommended screenings include measuring height and weight, body mass index and obesity, blood pressure, vision and hearing, and screening for high cholesterol, anaemia, tuberculosis, depression, drug and alcohol use, cervical abnormalities (for young women), Hepatitis B, HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhoea.
3. Counseling services include discussions about a variety of health issues including tobacco and other substance use, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
For boys, navigating the topic of wet dreams can be hard, especially if it is a mother explaining. Dr Migowa says the key points to consider when talking to a boy about wet dreams include:
Remember the first rule - Ensure that you look and feel comfortable when talking to him. If you can have this talk, over time it will be more natural for both of you.
If you are comfortable talking, your son will believe that this is indeed a natural part of growing up and nothing for him to be ashamed of.
Important information to tell your son
Explain to him that a wet dream is the uncontrolled ejaculation of semen from the penis during sleep, which is caused by sexual arousal and orgasm from dreams and/or physical stimulation like rubbing against blankets, the bed or a full bladder.
His first ejaculation may occur during a dream and when he wakes up he may not realise what happened, therefore tell him he should not be alarmed, as this is something experienced by most boys his age.
The fluid is sticky, creamy or clear in colour, not like urine. Tell him he cannot control them, and that ejaculation is just a physical sign that he is growing into manhood.
Explain the whole concept of an erection so that when his friends make reference to it or he notices the erection of other boys (even babies), he will not wonder about his erections and physical responses.
Let him know that wet dreams are most common during teenage and early adult years. However, it may happen anytime during or after puberty.
The emission may happen with or without an erection, and it is possible to wake up during or simply sleep through the ejaculation.
Explain the chemistry, that wet dreams begin during puberty when the body starts making more testosterone, the major male hormone.
Explain that when boys enter puberty a lot of hormonal changes occur. These changes can result in spontaneous erections during sleep, even sleep during the day.
Although some boys may feel embarrassed or even guilty about having wet dreams, they cannot be controlled and he cannot stop them from happening.
Almost every family has an adolescent struggling with body and mind changes.
“Utmost support is of critical importance to enable them to go through the transition processes while acquiring essential values as they develop,” Dr Samia says.
