I don’t know what I was expecting but I know I wasn’t expecting David Gatende, the former CEO of Davis & Shirtliff, to look younger. He is 62. He is in a polo shirt, a fedora and shorts. All colour-coordinated. The mood board is “contentment with a dash of style.”
In this cool-and-wet Nairobi weather, at the awning of Le Grenier à Pain in Riverside Drive, he glows like someone with a tiny inner sun within. Unlike most of us, David has never learned the art of growing old by playing on his pasts. He is constantly reinventing himself, in the act of throwing away his previous accomplishments and challenging the future, in this city that is always reintroducing itself to you.
In that too, he reminds me of King David from the Bible, that shapeshifter who was weak as a man, yes, but still a man after God’s heart. This David, after 36 years in the revolving C-suite as the CEO of Davis and Shirtliff, is freshly retired. Both, men of faith. He is travelling a lot. He speaks, nay, fawns about Laimani Bidali, his wife a lot. He mentions God a lot. What he could be for God. What God could be for him. He says the word “a lot”, a lot.
He speaks quietly, and softly, with a gentleness I associate with patient teachers. He has this radiance, like he has bathed in anointing oil, and his voice is light-hearted and carefree, like one who has a direct line to God, and God just told him something funny, this David on the search for purpose, his current Goliath. “Does he miss the office?” Not a chance, he says. I believe him. What’s that thing Chinua Achebe said? If Alligator comes out of the water one morning and tells you that crocodile is sick; can you doubt his story?
How’s retirement?
Retirement is great. A friend of mine said it is a transition and it takes time like three years. I watched a YouTube video where a guy was saying to his friend ‘How do we squeeze all the juice out of this thing called retirement?’ There are four phases: travel which I am doing lots of, up to three months, then a feeling of loss — who am I? The third stage is trial and error while the fourth stage is finding your groove. I am in the first stage.
You look much younger than I expected...
My mom wants to live for at least 100 years. She is 88 years old now. The discipline of exercise is not something you can switch on when you are 40. Diet is a great thing. And now I am realising, something I came across, the SHIELD — Sleep (I am getting more), Handling Stress, Interactions, Exercise, Learning and Diet.
Were you a mama’s boy?
I am the eldest of three, so certainly I have a special relationship with her.
What did your mother learn from you?
I am humbled when she says her journey of faith was inspired by me. She appreciates my being organised and my focus on the family and the way I have raised my three daughters.
As a man of faith, what do you struggle most with in faith?
If I were God, when people get saved, I imagine you are on a boat, so I would save everyone. Unfortunately, when you come to faith, you still struggle with sin, temptation and living in the world. You are saved and still wrestle with real-life things. I understand that in God’s wisdom, that’s where the true faith is tested. Like Job in the Bible.
What’s the meaning of life?
People climb mountains just to find that answer [chuckles]. For me, it is to find out why I am here. Stephen R. Covey wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and when he came to Kenya, having written The 8th Habit, I wanted to know whether he knew there was an eighth habit and if he was saving it for said book. He said no. He said it is to find your voice and then to help others find theirs. I want to find out why I was put here, and then to live it out. The sweet spot.
Have you found your sweet spot in retirement?
No, no no. I am only 62. I am transitioning to something new. I worked for 36 years at Davis& Shirtliff. My life purpose I get from the scripture. There is a scripture in Acts 13:22 that says of David, “I have found David son of Jesse as a man after my own heart.” That’s when God was speaking to Samuel and He was saying David would replace Saul. This is before David committed adultery, murder and many other sins.
Yet God said David is a man after his heart. In verse 36 he says after David had served God’s purpose in his generation, he fell asleep, he was buried with his fathers, and his body decayed. Serving God's purpose in your generation. I have fulfilled my corporate life, now, for the next 28 years, what’s my purpose?
What has been the biggest shift for you so far?
The lack of stress! Keeping people motivated, $100-million budgets, in 11 countries, 100 outlets — that’s a bucketload of responsibilities. In corporate life, everything is about strategy, customers, teamwork et al. I don’t have weekly meetings anymore. What did I do this morning? I went for a walk with my wife and here I am at 10.30 am having a breakfast interview.
What do you miss about being CEO?
Nothing. Been there done that. I knew the perks were related to the office, so I organised myself. My wife recommended that I get a PA. He helps me stay occupied. A lot of personal things I used to do would always get shunted aside in favour of the corporate.
My wife has a wonderful ministry that she runs on healing and reconciliation for women. I want to do something similar for men, and young people. See, I am divorced and remarried, and that comes with a lot of stigma for people of faith, and that is one area we want to look at. People struggle with relationships and finances.
What do you love most about your wife?
That her beauty is not just external, it is also internal. A beautiful person inside and outside. Don’t ask me who I know that you should know because that’s Laimani, my beautiful wife.
What does the second marriage teach you that the first doesn’t?
For starters, the whole dating experience is different. When I was in my 20s, I didn’t have a lot. When I got married in my 50s, the question was where do you find someone with similar values, who is not looking at me because of who I have become?
I appreciate how we reconcile immediately after an issue — one of the things younger couples may struggle with. Address the issues sooner rather than later, I appreciate the brevity of time, there is a sense of urgency. If it were not to work this second time, then I would have to look deeper into myself because I am the constant. I have learned that relationships are truly the most important things that matter in life. Fix it, as soon as possible.
What is one place you have travelled to with your wife that is important to you?
Last night we finished watching a series called Lupin. On November 1, 2015, I was standing next to the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. And she said, ‘We haven’t been to Paris. You have been. You still have to take me to Paris’ haha! My favourite memory is us walking around in Pompeii in Napoli. Julius Caesar went there for his holidays! That and Venice. We are looking forward rather than back.
What’s something special you do just for you?
Playing squash. I have played that sport since 1977. I actually competed for Kenya and represented the nation in Canada. I had a wife, and children, was climbing the corporate ladder, was involved in my church and still playing squash. It is too much for one man. But I have no greater joy than beating younger people at squash haha!
What matters way less than you thought it would?
Aha! What others think of me. It’s just not worth it. People change their opinions all the time. You do you. In 2014, I took my daughters to Australia, where the first bungee jumping was done. In Jinja Uganda, my daughters made me bungee-jump. It is something that goes against every fibre of my being. To throw yourself off a ledge with nothing to hold on to? Argh!
What’s something I wouldn’t believe about you?
Does meeting Richard Branson count? No. Okay. I am left-handed? I love sailing. I’ve been to over 40 countries.
What are you most sure of?
Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. Let me tell you a story. I took a coaching class with Career Connections. The aim was to find out ‘Who are you’ and ‘How do you coach?’ In the who are you, we had to introduce ourselves to somebody, then do three items without repeating anything. You realise you don’t really know yourself. I came up with five areas that define me after that class: Faith, Family, Firm, Fitness, and Friends. How I coach is a result of that.
When did you last feel like yourself?
I am the youngest I will ever be for the rest of my life. I have made mistakes, but what I am now, I am excited. I am in transition and I am figuring out how it is going to look. I made some good decisions when I was working so right now I am not under any financial pressure. How do I help others find their voices? That’s where my excitement lies.
What was your nickname growing up?
I used to play rugby at Lenana School. I suffered a concussion in Form Two and you go through being dizzy and disoriented and I was called Stoho – slang for the short one. In my latter years, I was called Dodi, which was the nickname of the then Reverend Norman Dodman.
What remains unchanged about you since childhood?
I don’t always follow the grain, the beaten path. I like to choose the road less travelled. I am a planner and disciplined.
As a man of faith, what’s your biggest temptation?
Mh! “Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto.” I am a man; I consider nothing that is human alien to me.
Well played. What’s the hardest part about being you?
[Long pause] Mmhh. It’s an interesting question, Eddy. It lies somewhere in self-expression because I really appreciate words of affirmation. When Eddy says good job when my wife says you are the best, when my daughters say you are the best dad in the world. That need for affirmation and thus the hardest part is expressing all of me, the sweet spot, what the Japanese call ikigai or what the French call the raison d’etre.
What is one thing you wish you would’ve said ever?
I think of people who have died. I had a brother who died 24 years ago in 1999. He was murdered. That same year I climbed Mt Kilimanjaro, and I remember thinking, I wish I had asked Chris to climb the mountain with me.
I would have affirmed my love for him, and my appreciation of who he was, because Chris had mental health challenges. I wish I had told him I love him.
What memory would you wish to relive?
When your children are born, I would strongly encourage you to be in the delivery room. I wish I would have made a recording of my emotions during that time. My eldest was born through natural birth, and my twins through caesarean section. I was there for both and believe you me, my respect for women totally skyrocketed. Don’t miss it.
What’s one thing you are ashamed of?
Having been a church elder and struggling with my marriage brought a lot of shame and stigma. Why couldn’t you fix it? You guys were two young Christians who were sexually pure, so why can’t you work it out? What is the problem? I battled with that for a long time and it has taken a lot of healing and coming to terms with it to the point that now I am at peace.
What colour is your life now?
Green. There are so many shades of green and it fits with how I feel about this being the youngest I’ll ever be and the rest of my life ahead of me.
What’s the soundtrack of your life right now?
Lord, you are so good to me. You’ve been good to me all my life; you have been faithful.
What’s your guilty pleasure?
Mint chocolate. I’m a sweet tooth.
What is one question you wish more people would ask you?
Why is Jesus such an important part of your life? Because that’s what makes sense of it all. If I did not know that there is a God and a purpose, I would give up.
What will people mourn about you when you are gone?
A guy who wore his heart on his sleeve, a guy who was real and friendly.
What do you have that money can’t buy?
My faith. And I am not trying to be what I am not. I am in the right neighbourhood with King David and Moses and Elijah and Joseph.
