Man about town

Shiro’s return full of drama, guilt feelings


Shiro is around for the Christmas holidays and it does feel nice to share some parental responsibilities. However, her return has not been without drama.

Since she has been here, our house has been full of friends and family who pass by, stay for long hours saying they want to “catch up” with her — meaning she has had no time for me.

I have also noticed that Shiro is drinking a bit more than usual making her a bit dramatic. After one of those family visits Shiro made an interesting confession leading to quite some drama.

We were just getting ready to turn in when she said, “Babes, I am a bad mother!” I have heard this line before when Shiro claimed that the children loved the nanny more than her.

So, I went into comforting mode and told her, “no, you are not. Children love you and they appreciate you.” What followed shocked me.


She started off by bursting into tears and then speaking for half an hour about the challenges she had been facing in Dubai.

She said that she felt discriminated against and detached from home-life. All her sacrifices “might not be worth it,” she blubbered on. I pretended to listen believing that alcohol was causing her to act this way. The shocker was yet to come. It turns out that Shiro had been doing more than feel like a bad mother — she had been taking some initiative to come home.

She told me that in November she had been home twice for some interviews with the CEO. I was really upset to be discovering the news this way so I asked why she didn’t tell me.

“Listen, I signed a confidentiality agreement, there was no way I was going to tell you,” she said.

Looking back to the night, I should have stayed quiet and waited for morning to have what I considered to be a proper discussion. I felt so angry and betrayed that I proceeded to launch a verbal attack on Shiro.

Some of the details are blurry but I know that the next day I woke up to find that she was not in the house and had left a note saying: “Have gone away, need to think.” I tried to call her but her phone was switched of and I had no clue where she had gone.

To make matters worse, our children kept asking me where “mummy” was and what I had done to her. I decided to be stoic and head into the office all along hoping that Shiro would call me; but she stayed mute all day.

When I got home that evening I was relieved to see her car in the parking lot. I was preparing my apology as I walked into the house so imagine my shock when I discovered that we had company.

I found our church pastor seated in the sitting room playing with our children as if he owned the house. He shook my hand and said,” Josphat, long time no see.”

This was not going well, now Shiro would know that I had delegated church duties to our nanny.

Let’s just say that after one hour of what the pastor called “intervention” I was feeling even more angry and more betrayed as Shiro talked about her “bad mother issues” and her “confidential interviews.”

To protect my male pride I said I needed a drink and left the house for a nearby pub. Right now, Shiro and I are in a cold war mode and I have no idea how and when we will resolve our issues. There is no way I will let a pastor get involved in my marriage issues again.