Qualities that make family business leader king

I first met Mr Duncan Kaniaru in 1989; a friendly elderly man who lived a few houses from us on Sore Drive, Plainsview Estate in Nairobi. There was nothing physically outstanding about him — he was diminutive in height, soft spoken and smiled often.

What stood out most about Mr Kaniaru was that, unlike many men I knew then, if he was not in his office, he was always at home.
Every weekday from 5:30pm as far as I could tell, he was in his house, seated and very often having discussions with his wife Emma. He would speak in Kikuyu, she would respond in Kikamba and they would speak to their children in English. This multilingual exchange was fascinating to all who witnessed it.

I did not know how much influence Mr Kaniaru had on me until one evening when I stayed out with two of his sons longer than the usual time. We got to their gate and stood petrified about what would become of us seeing that he was very strict with the evening curfews.

After a futile debate, we resolved to bite the bullet and face the consequences of our action. We softly tapped the gate.

Mr Kaniaru came out and rebuked us, instructing us to “go back where we had come from”. We were mortified and went back to my house where we pleaded with my mother to petition the Kaniarus on our behalf. The relief I felt when my two friends were let back in the house was almost beyond belief. Needless to say, we never broke the curfew again.

It was at this point that it dawned upon me that much as Mr Kaniaru was not related to me, he was a strong authority in my life — a reference point and important stabilising factor whose favour I yearned to cultivate and in whose charge I desired to be.

This realisation shocked me because Mr Kaniaru was not macho, that is, enormous, loud or domineering. Even though he was considerably affluent, he did not display his wealth conspicuously — he drove the same car for the 20 odd years that I knew him and often took matatus to his rural home till shortly before his death in March 2015.

Even more interesting, even though he carried a “rungu” in his car, Mr Kaniaru never displayed arms or used force to enforce his opinions. The public servant and later leader of family business understood power.

Be present

He had worked as personal assistant to provincial commissioners, to the chief secretary and finally as an under secretary in Kenyan government before he retired. As he performed all these duties, he remained physically present at home and as a result, reigned as king of the neighborhood where he used his power to serve.

Leaders of family business should recognise that their physical presence in the business, at home and in the neighbourhood projects power and brings about a sense of stability for family and non-family members.

This presence often makes the difference between chaos and order, provides recourse for conflict resolution and provides the surrounding community with an excellent example that members can follow even though personal interaction with the leader may be limited.

True leaders, by their presence, bring a sense of order into situations even though they may not say or do much. Because their authority does not stem from gimmicks or outward show of power, they wield much influence which they can judiciously use to bring situations under control.

Since there will inevitably be conflicts between individuals, families or segments of the community, there is a need for an individual of high moral standing to stand as a counsellor, mediator or arbitrator in the resolution of such conflicts that may arise in marriage, between children and parents and among adults.

Human beings by nature desire to have an individual(s) whose example they can follow. People whose examples they can emulate, who can lead them to their desired future.

Even though they may not frequently interact with such leaders, they follow their example from afar with or without their knowledge.

It is therefore of critical importance that leaders of family business be of good moral standing and that they visibly stand out in every home, street and neighbourhood.

Mr Mutua is a Humphrey Fellow and a leadership development consultant focused on family businesses. His email address is [email protected].