The hyper-connected, open-plan, always-online workplace makes it easy to confuse camaraderie with career growth.
We all want to be liked at work. We gravitate toward people who laugh at our jokes, vent with us about tough clients, and maybe even share a matatu route home. But when it comes to professional development, liking someone, or being liked, is not enough. The hard truth is this: if your goal is to grow, lead, and thrive in your career, you do not need a bestie in the office. You need a mentor. Having a work bestie can feel like the perfect safety net. They “get” you. They have seen your bad days, covered for you when you were late, and exchanged a thousand memes with you during long afternoons. They may even be your constant companion at team lunches. But this comfort, while emotionally satisfying, can quietly stall your progress.
Work besties are usually peers—people at the same level of experience and influence. That means they're often in no better position than you are to help shape your career strategy or guide your next step. In fact, they may unconsciously prefer things to stay as they are, because your growth could shift the balance of the friendship.
A mentor, on the other hand, is not invested in maintaining the status quo. Their role is to challenge your assumptions, stretch your vision, and push you, gently or firmly, out of your comfort zone.
As human-resource consultant and career coach James Watare puts it: “Look for someone who has been where you want to go and is willing to show you how they got there. Mentors do not just approve your ideas; they question them, refine them, and help you act on them.”
His experience coaching young professionals in Kenya reinforces that mentorship is not a “nice to have” but a fundamental step in career growth.
“A mentor brings something your bestie often cannot: perspective. They have experience, both in your industry and within the organisation, and can help you see opportunities and pitfalls you might otherwise miss,” he says.
While a bestie will validate your feelings after a difficult meeting, a mentor will ask what you might do differently next time. A bestie will sympathise with your frustrations; a mentor will encourage you to find solutions.
“Too often, I see young professionals message recruiters or seniors with ‘Hi, any job?’—no structure, no clarity,” Mr Watare notes. “The same lack of intention shows up when they choose mentors. They look for someone nice instead of someone strategic.”
None of this diminishes the value of emotional support. In high-pressure environments, having someone to talk to can make the difference between burnout and balance.
But emotional support is not the same as professional development. Besties may always be on your side, but mentors are on the side of your progress, and that sometimes means hearing what you don’t want to.
Kenyan cultural challenges
The Kenyan workplace brings its own cultural challenges to mentorship. Hierarchies, age gaps, and unspoken rules can make approaching a senior colleague feel intimidating. There is a fine line between being eager and being seen as overly ambitious.
But mentorship does not have to be formal. It often starts with curiosity, observation, and small conversations.
Mr Watare advises professionals to notice how seniors respond to client push-back, handle negotiations, or lead discussions. “Then ask for five minutes after a meeting: ‘What would you have done differently?’ That’s how informal mentorship begins,” he says.
James Watare is the founder and managing partner of Executive Jobs Hub.
Photo credit: Pool
Many mentorships begin this way—through shared projects, brief chats, or seeking occasional advice. Over time, consistency and trust deepen the relationship. Mentors do not always have to be the most senior people; sometimes the best guidance comes from someone just a few steps ahead.
“Of course, some people find friends who double as mentors. But that’s the exception,” Mr Watare says. “Friendship and mentorship have different emotional contracts. A friend is loyal to your feelings. A mentor is loyal to your future.”
Why hardwork is not enough
Too many professionals assume that hard work alone will get them noticed and promoted. But workplaces are not pure meritocracies. Advancement often depends not only on what you know, but on who is guiding you, advocating for you, and showing you how the system works.
Mentorship is not a luxury; it is a necessity. It helps you understand unspoken workplace rules, negotiate better, bounce back from setbacks faster, and maintain focus on the bigger picture—not just the daily grind.
Finding a mentor requires intention. It begins by identifying people who model the career or values you aspire to, then taking initiative: asking thoughtful questions, seeking feedback, offering support where appropriate. Most mentors are not looking for fans, but for mentees who are serious about growth.
If you’re fortunate enough to find one, respect their time, listen actively, and follow through on their advice. As Mr Watare notes, “Mentorship is a two-way street. Mentors will invest in you if you show you want more than comfort.”
Become a mentor
If you’re further along in your career, consider becoming a mentor yourself. You don’t need a title or an office with a view to guide someone. Sometimes, a single conversation or a simple piece of advice can change someone’s trajectory.
Ultimately, the people you surround yourself with at work shape more than your day; they shape your destiny. Besties are wonderful for laughs, tea breaks, and solidarity. But if you want to become more than you are today, seek someone who has already walked the path you hope to take, someone who sees more in you than you see in yourself.
So, the next time you're facing a tough decision, a setback, or a bold idea, ask yourself: Who do I turn to? Someone who makes me feel better, or someone who helps me grow?
Because growth is rarely comfortable, and comfort, though warm and familiar, is not where greatness is made.
