At INCA I overcome the fear of my ex

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A meal at Inca, a bar at the Social House Hotel, Nairobi. FILE PHOTO | POOL

First, before anything else, have you visited The Social House’s website? My word! You will never see a more vibrant or engaging (hotel) website; uncluttered, cheeky, classy, and just great to look around in.

It’s like a very beautiful lingerie shop that you, as a man, find yourself walking into to just look around with no intention of making a purchase…rubbing fabric against your thumb and finger like you know what you’re doing; bringing another to your nose and taking a deep, lungful of imagination until, finally taken by what you see, ending up running your card for a pair of very risque apple-red lacy thongs with -- inexplicably - a small embroidered baby polar bear at the front.

INCA, their bar, a Peruvian melting pot, waits for you at the rooftop of the hotel, pressed against the glass wall overlooking James Gichuru Road on one side. It’s just big enough (like all great things) and features an elegant interior that isn’t trying too much or doing too little. A bar divides the room in two like the Berlin Wall only here nobody remembers or cares for the Cold War. You could always reserve a table from their wonderful website before you pitch up because it gets full and tables can be hard to come by, especially Fridays into the weekend.

By the way, I feel I need to say that I have always avoided INCA because a friend informed me a while back that an ex likes patronising it with her man (unnecessary information to give me) who, he was gracious enough to add, resembles Buju Banton (Google him) - but with much shorter dreadlocks. (I’m bald. That says a lot, ey?)

Despite this - and because exes don’t eat people (not anymore) - I finally went last week because my old mates were holding court there. I had an excellent time because I had a delectable Cali Sake (salmon, avocado, cream cheese, and cucumber) and listened to amazing music from a live deejay with some dude who played drums and tinkled some instrument next to him. A highly artistic ensemble. The room was cosy with a beautiful warm current running through it the whole evening. The service matched everything else.

Most importantly, I never ran into my ex. Or anybody who looked like Buju Banton.

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