Am I becoming a shopaholic or just seeking gratification?

I work for an airline and as a result I am a regular traveller. While I like to groom myself —to gain confidence –I am spending a huge chunk of my salary buying clothes and shoes and this is draining my savings.

I would want to spend less –especially on items I hardly use and stop wasting money.

I fear I am becoming a shopping addict. Help.

The Alcoholic Drinks Control Act (2010) has been the subject of public debate for many months.

There are those who speak in support of all its provisions and there are those who see nothing but evil intent .

Whichever side of the divide one falls, one thing is clear, there are millions of adults all over the world who enjoy alcohol without coming to grief and there is a significant minority of adults and young people who are harmed by alcohol.

The act is not intended to regulate adults who make choices to drink, but is rather intended to deal with those people for whom alcohol is potentially harmful.

It is most certainly not intended to harm alcohol makers and if anything, my view is that some people could benefit financially by providing clean, hygienic, safe alcoholic drinks for the population.

The Uganda ‘waragi’ and the Tanzania ‘konyagi’ is what I have in mind.

Coming closer to your question, I am reminded of a recent visit to South Africa where at the entrance of a casino in my hotel was a very big sign declaring availability of help for those with the ‘disease’ of gambling.

Because you can’t stop adults doing what they choose to do, the law demands that those who are harmed by gambling or alcohol be catered for by proceeds of the products they choose to use or engage in.

Although your question relates to shopping and not to alcohol or gambling, there is some similarity in all three.

Shopping, drinking and gambling are all normal activities that do not cause any harm to adults who engage in them, in moderation.

A sizable portion of the population, however, has to be protected from harming itself by engaging itself in some of these activities.
For most people, shopping is a tedious if normal activity that provokes little by way of emotion beyond resignation to the fact that it has to be done, once in a while. For them, little thought is applied to the process and all that matters is the outcome.

For some however, and I fear that might include you, the act of shopping takes a dimension and a life of its own and becomes the source of a kind of thrill.

The act of purchasing becomes high as much as the addicted person gets from alcohol, heroine, tobacco or sex.

More shopping causes an increasing high that has to be repeated often for the person to feel normal.

The shopper then losing control a bit like the binge drinker who once started is unable to stop.

Many people have come to grief because of shopping until visited by financial ruin. The condition is called omniomania.

There is ongoing discussion among experts as to whether the condition is that of impulse control, or whether it is better classified as an obsessional disorder.

Severe material neglect

Whatever the case, there is some evidence that for a sizable proportion, the condition has it roots in childhood.

For those people for whom childhood was a time of severe material neglect, acquisition of material things becomes the source of gratification, much as a crying child is gratified by the acquisition of his mother’s breast which gives both nutrition and comfort.

For the shopping addict, the act of a obtaining objects in a shop becomes the source of this high.

Most people find it difficult to understand how alcohol, sex and other activities can become the object of addiction much as your case seems strange to the majority.

More interesting to me is the fact that the management of your addiction is very similar to that of any other addict and in essence involves the understanding of you as a person in relation to those factors that predispose you to the malady.

Out of interest, and perhaps to give you hope, we are seeing and treating young men and women addicted to the Internet
Before you lose your money, mind and job, seek help to tame your shopaholic habits.