Sexual health issues are more common than many people realise, affecting many women in Kenya. Challenges with sexual desire, arousal, orgasm, or pain during intimacy are not unusual and can occur at various stages in life. These issues can impact self-confidence, relationships and overall quality of life, making it crucial to approach them with understanding and support.
Here are several issues that affect a woman’s sexual desire and what can be done to improve the odds.
Overall well-being: Physical and emotional health are closely intertwined with sexual well-being. When you're struggling with health issues, whether it's a chronic condition or emotional distress, it can diminish your interest in and enjoyment of sex. Feeling unwell or emotionally low can make it difficult to engage fully and connect with your partner.
Fatigue and stress: Daily stresses, from work pressures to personal responsibilities, can deplete your energy and lower your sexual desire. Chronic fatigue, often caused by lack of sleep or constant stress, can lead to a reduced interest in intimacy and a decrease in sexual satisfaction.
For new mothers, the exhaustion after giving birth can be overwhelming. The demands of caring for a newborn, from sleepless nights to constant feedings, take a toll on both body and mind. This kind of fatigue goes beyond the usual tiredness and can deeply affect a woman’s energy levels and interest in intimacy. The physical and emotional recovery from childbirth, coupled with the responsibilities of motherhood, often leaves little room for anything else, including sexual desire.
Relationship dynamics: The quality of your relationship with your partner plays a crucial role in your sexual health. Emotional disconnects, unresolved conflicts, or communication issues can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and hinder your sexual experiences. Building a strong, communicative, and supportive relationship can help improve intimacy.
Life changes: Major transitions, such as having a baby, undergoing surgery, or going through menopause, can bring significant changes to your sexual experience. These life events can alter your physical sensations, hormonal balance, and emotional state, affecting how you experience and enjoy sex.
Health conditions: Chronic illnesses, like diabetes or heart disease, can impact sexual function and desire by affecting blood flow, energy levels, or self-esteem. Mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, can also reduce sexual interest and pleasure. Some medications prescribed for these conditions may have side effects that influence sexual health.
Hormonal fluctuations: Your hormones play a big role in how you experience sex, and their levels can change throughout your menstrual cycle. You might find that your desire for intimacy varies at different times of the month—perhaps feeling more interested around ovulation and less so at other times. Physical changes like bloating, tender breasts, or mood swings can also affect how you feel about sex. Life stages such as menopause, pregnancy, breastfeeding and hormonal treatments can further impact your libido and sexual experiences.
Body image: How you feel about your body can greatly affect your sexual confidence and satisfaction. For example, after giving birth, you might notice changes such as stretch marks, weight fluctuations, or changes in breast shape that can impact how you view yourself. These physical changes, combined with the exhaustion and stress of new motherhood, can sometimes make you feel less confident or less interested in sex.
However, embracing and feeling positive about your postpartum body can boost your self-esteem and enhance your sexual experiences. Recognising that your body has gone through an incredible transformation can help you reconnect with your sense of self and improve your intimate life.
Past trauma: Previous negative experiences, such as abuse or traumatic events, can have a lasting effect on your sexual health. These experiences can lead to discomfort or anxiety around sex, impacting your ability to enjoy intimacy. Addressing past trauma with a professional can be crucial for improving sexual health.
Lifestyle habits: Everyday habits, including excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, and lack of physical activity, can affect sexual health. These habits can influence energy levels, overall health, and sexual function. Adopting a healthier lifestyle can contribute to better sexual well-being.
Age: As we age, both physical and emotional changes can affect sexual health. These changes might include shifts in hormone levels, changes in physical health, and evolving emotional needs. Embracing these changes and seeking appropriate support can help maintain a fulfilling sexual life.
How to improve my sexual health
Here’s a guide to tackling these issues with care:
Manage stress and fatigue: Incorporate relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation into your routine. Regular exercise and a good sleep schedule can also help you feel more energized and less stressed.
Enhance intimacy: Spice up your sexual experiences by exploring new activities or using different products like lubricants and sex toys. Keep the excitement alive by trying new things with your partner. Communicate openly: Share your desires and needs with your partner. Honest conversations can improve your connection and make your intimate moments more enjoyable.
Address physical discomfort by handling dryness: If vaginal dryness is a problem, over-the-counter lubricants and moisturisers can provide relief. For more persistent issues, talk to your healthcare provider about treatments that can offer longer-lasting relief.
If you're dealing with vaginismus, a condition where the vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten, making penetration painful or difficult, there are several strategies that can help manage it.
Start with relaxation techniques like deep breathing to reduce overall stress and muscle tension. Incorporate pelvic floor exercises, ideally with guidance from a specialist, to help relax the muscles gradually. Using vaginal dilators, beginning with the smallest size, can help your body adjust to penetration more comfortably over time-a health provider can help with this.
Open communication with your partner about your experiences and feelings is crucial to creating a supportive environment. Additionally, using lubricants during intimacy can reduce friction and increase comfort.
Seeking assistance from a sexual health therapist can be very effective in addressing any underlying anxiety or fears related to vaginismus. Begin with non-penetrative activities and gradually progress to more intimate activities at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
Review medications: Some medications might affect your sexual health. If you suspect your meds are causing issues, talk to your doctor. They can help you adjust your prescriptions or find alternatives that might work better for you.
Explore hormone therapy: Hormone treatments might help, especially for postmenopausal women. Discuss the pros and cons with your healthcare provider before starting any new treatment.
Seek emotional support: If stress, anxiety, or past trauma are affecting your sexual health, talking to a mental health professional can be very beneficial. Therapy can help you work through these challenges and improve your overall well-being.
Many women find that their religious beliefs significantly shape their views on sexual health, including thoughts about sexuality, contraception, and reproductive choices. This intersection can sometimes lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, or confusion when personal health needs seem at odds with faith teachings.
To handle this, it's important to seek support that respects both your spiritual values and your well-being. This might include talking to healthcare providers who understand and honor your beliefs, as well as connecting with supportive members of your religious community. As you work through this journey, be gentle with yourself.
Balancing your faith with your sexual health can be challenging and confusing, but seeking support is a positive step. Remember, finding a solution that feels right for you is essential to your overall well-being.
Changing women’s attitudes towards sexual pleasure.
Changing deep-rooted attitudes towards sexual pleasure is vital for enhancing women’s overall sexual health. Many women have been conditioned to think that pleasure during sex isn’t meant for them, or that it’s primarily for men. These beliefs often stem from past negative experiences, strict upbringings, religious teachings, and cultural expectations.
It’s crucial for women to challenge and redefine these attitudes, recognising that sexual pleasure is a natural and healthy part of their lives. By embracing this understanding, women can become more confident in acknowledging their desires and seeking the support they need to fully enjoy their sexual well-being.
Adopt healthy lifestyle habits: A balanced diet can boost your overall health and energy levels, which can positively impact your sexual health. Cut back on alcohol and avoid smoking: Drinking too much alcohol and smoking can affect sexual function and desire. Reducing or quitting these habits can improve your sexual well-being.
