Help! I cried at work. How do I bounce back with grace?

The apparent simplicity of your question is misleading and as you will see below, the subject of crying is so complex that it could make you cry with frustration.

At a wedding recently, a man was asked to speak on behalf of the bridegroom’s father and approached the subject in a novel manner.

He gave several examples of challenges regarding the state of being married. My attention was caught by the example he gave relating to his earlier days as a young married man, when, as he put it, his wife had many different types of crying styles, all of which left him confused.

His examples were captivating. When he came home late, she cried, when he came home early and took her out for dinner, she cried. When he gave her flowers she cried, when he did not, she cried. As a result, he did not know how to stop his wife from crying.

He also noticed something else about the way his wife cried. Sometimes it was a quiet sob, alone in the bathroom, others were tears on his shoulders, at other times the neighbours bore witness to her crying. He was most confused when she asked to be left alone to go upstairs to her room to cry into her pillow.

Crying would sometimes be followed by relief and at other times would be followed by prolonged sadness and withdrawal.

He had some good news for the couple. Crying in his home became less as the couple got older and perhaps got to know one another better!

This long story is intended to demonstrate how complex this uniquely human trait can be. We must now consider more complex aspects of crying such as the differences between intrapersonal and interpersonal crying. In your case at work for example, why did you cry?

Was it perhaps because you felt overwhelmed by the work assigned to you that day and you felt unable to deal with the situation or was it that you cried because the supervisor made sexual advances at you that day?

You must also consider the effects of crying not only on yourself but also on those near to you, that is the observers. When a young bride cries for happiness on her wedding day, her mother and sisters might join her in similar tears. When in the privacy of her room that day she cries when the bridegroom says he loves her, she might fret if he joins her in crying!

In our culture, it might be acceptable for a young woman to cry at her workplace when experiencing relationship challenges but less acceptable for the middle-aged male managing director to do the same. One can debate the merits of this cultural position, but it remains factual that failure to allow the expression of emotions by males, has some adverse consequences in some instances.

The subject of crying and the expression of emotions, in general, is both an important and neglected subject and demands exploration.