Millennials are hitting 40 Here's what worries them

At 40, people often begin to reflect on their careers, questioning whether they're in the right field or feeling pressure to make changes.

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Laura Chebet will be 32 years in five months' time, but she is already worried about the age she will be in eight years' time. Although she has achieved most of the things she had hoped for, she admits that her finances are still not in order.

"I am getting older and I feel that I have not achieved financial freedom. I need financial stability and it scares me. I have dedicated the remaining years to investing so that by the time I am 40, I will be financially free," says Ms Chebet, a journalist.

For Seanice Wambui, milestone birthdays often prompt reflection on life goals, achievements and the future. She worries about ageing, health and whether she has achieved enough. There's also the pressure to live up to higher expectations as she approaches another decade.

Creeping pressure

"Fear of ageing makes me uncomfortable, especially when visible signs like wrinkles or grey hair start to appear. It feels like an inevitable reminder of the passing of time. As I approach 40, health concerns are weighing on me and making me question my long-term fitness and well-being.

I feel a creeping sense of time pressure, as if the clock is ticking louder on my unfulfilled goals and aspirations. Career-wise, I sometimes worry about hitting a plateau and wonder if I'm where I thought I'd be at this age. Financial insecurity often crosses my mind; I'm worried about not having enough savings for future plans,” says Ms Wambui.

She is also struggling with identity. “I don't feel quite 'young' anymore, and adjusting to this new phase of life brings its own challenges. Family responsibilities are increasing, with ageing parents needing more care and children demanding attention and guidance,” she says.

Reflecting on unmet expectations can be anxiety-inducing. It's hard not to dwell on things you haven't achieved or paths you haven't taken.

Well, unlike women, men are less concerned about aging for several reasons. However, for Robert Oloo, 37, societal expectations including ‘having it all together’ is adding to him layers of pressure.

“By this age, we men are usually expected to have achieved all, including career success, financial stability, and a fulfilling family life. Comparisons to peers who seem more successful or fulfilled is draining,” says Mr Oloo, a bank teller.

All these thoughts wind together and make the transition into 40s feel like a mixture of self-reflection, doubt and adjustment.

Laura, Seanic, and Robert represent thousands of millennials who are worried about turning 40, especially with social media buzzing with discussions about the milestone. For some, 40 is the new 20, while others are seeking advice for the years ahead, asking, "I'm turning 40 years tomorrow. What tips can you give me for the next ten years of my life?"

These posts reveal the anxiety of millennials born between 1981 and 1996. Those born between 1981 and 1984 are already in their 40s, with the oldest now 44, while others are rapidly approaching this milestone.

But it is said that life begins at 40. So what is it about this age that's so daunting for millennials? Why does turning 40 evoke such intense emotions?

Jane Ngatia, a counselling psychologist, explains that it's common for millennials to feel anxious about turning 40 for a number of reasons.

"The feeling of approaching 40 brings anxiety, and that's normal, especially if someone hasn't 'settled down' yet. For many, that means marriage or starting a family, but at 40 they may feel that time is running out," she says.

She lists some of the reasons why this milestone can be difficult for this generation.

Social and cultural expectations: Society often imposes "life timelines", such as getting married, having children or achieving career goals by a certain age.

"For those who haven't reached these milestones, turning 40 can feel like a reminder of these unmet expectations, which can create a sense of failure or fear of 'running out of time'," says Ms Ngatia.

Career reflection and redirection: At 40, people often begin to reflect on their careers, questioning whether they're in the right field or feeling pressure to make changes.

"For those still finding their way or looking for a new direction, this can feel like a critical do-or-die moment to finally 'get it right'," she explains.

Responsibility overload: Many 40-year-olds are part of the 'sandwich generation', juggling responsibilities for their own families and aging parents.

"When millennials reach this age, they often find themselves caring for aging parents, creating a 'sandwich generation' feeling where they're responsible for both the older and younger generations," says Ms Ngatia.

Fear of missed opportunities: Turning 40 often triggers introspection, and for some it feels like looking back on missed opportunities or unfulfilled dreams, leading to regret that time is running out for major life changes.

Social isolation and modern lifestyles: Many in this age group find that their social circles have shrunk as friends focus on family and career. The technology-driven, individualistic nature of modern life can increase this isolation, leading to additional stress and anxiety.

Millennials face unique pressures, including financial challenges, remote working and less social interaction, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and even depression.

Health concerns: Physical health often becomes a focus as people begin to notice the first signs of ageing. Concerns about long-term health and fitness can add to their worries.

These fears aren't unique to millennials; many face turning 40 with some trepidation. Each decade brings with it new challenges and societal expectations: turning 30 marks full adulthood and turning 40 can feel like crossing over into 'middle age', where the signs of aging become more pronounced despite even the strictest self-care regimen.

To cope with these feelings, Ms Ngatia advises people to acknowledge and own their struggles. Talking to friends or seeking advice from those with similar experiences can be helpful.

"Professional support from a counsellor can also help. Remember that societal pressures shouldn't dictate personal goals; it's important to be assertive in setting boundaries and prioritising individual needs," she says.

However, Ms Ngatia stresses that life after 40 doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. Thanks to longer life expectancy, today's 40s can be more like an extended adolescence than a transition into old age.

"Life doesn't stop at 40. Every stage has its own milestones. If someone hasn't achieved certain goals, such as marriage or career success, it's never too late. Focusing on what is working and letting go of what isn't can bring peace. Life has a way of presenting new opportunities at every age," she says.

She notes that while turning 40 can feel daunting, reframing it as a time of growth and new opportunities can lead to a sense of fulfilment and motivation as individuals enter the next chapter of their lives.

Transition coach Annabel Gicheru says that as people move into a new phase of their lives, whether it be marriage, career or even education, feelings of anxiety, regret and pressure can take centre stage.

Rather than redefining your purpose, Ms Gicheru emphasises refining it during transitions. She suggests starting with the 3 A's: acknowledging your achievements with gratitude, embracing change and setting meaningful goals for this new chapter, and adapting by fostering growth, cultivating new strategies and building meaningful relationships.

Ms Gicheru advises acknowledging and validating feelings of fear and uncertainty.

"These emotions are normal, but don't let them paralyse you. Instead, focus on what you can control and immerse yourself in an environment that fosters positivity and growth. Self-awareness is key. Define your aspirations, set boundaries and celebrate small victories," says Ms Gacheru.

By creating a personal blueprint, she says, you can align your life with your goals while resisting societal pressures. Breaking out of comfort zones is the first step, and she also recommends adopting a growth mindset, setting achievable goals and using vision boards to stay motivated.

"Celebrate milestones to stay focused on your journey. Prioritise physical, emotional and mental self-care to maintain vitality. Stay socially active, explore new hobbies and commit to lifelong learning.

It all starts in the mind. See you at the top - you can do it!" Gicheru encourages. By embracing change and refining their purpose, millennials can thrive and turn this milestone into an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

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