Be the change you want in your work place

The single most common reason why people resign from their jobs is “a difficult boss”. Three major pain-points have stuck out since I begun coaching eight years ago. They feel demoralised, insecure and concerned about their ability to please the boss.

If any of these speak to you, I’d first and foremost suggest that you do not have a “boss”. You and only you can boss yourself around. No one else does that without your permission. That being said, we are talking about your supervisor, manager, director or whoever it is that you report to. Not your boss.

Secondly, I’d recommend that you desist from looking to please anyone. We humans are such complex and dynamic beings that pleasing others is akin to a dog chasing its own tail. One’s idea of pleasure changes every single day. Keeping up with that will only serve the purpose of keeping you perpetually dizzy. Leave it alone. While you certainly benefit when your boss is pleased, his/her pleasure is her/his responsibility. Not yours. Here’s what’s yours to do: fully understand what the vision is, inculcate the organisation’s core values into your thought processes and ensure that your daily activities go towards meeting your set objectives within your mandate and beyond.

You may have noted that many tend to take offense at the slightest provocation. 

This happens because most of us have been conditioned to react to our environment using our physical senses. 

We are happy when praised and immediately deflated when criticised leading to a daily ride on an unproductive emotional roller-coaster. Criticism offers us an opportunity to grow. It is our views of the words used, the tone of voice applied, the number of people witnessing it and our mental state at the time of the criticism that makes it sting. If the criticism occurs frequently, it might indicate plenty of room for improvement, a poor or biased manager. Whatever the case, you would be well-advised to make a moment to calmly and respectfully share your thoughts on how you would handle the task at hand explaining why your method is the best and seek an objective opinion. Often times, it's a matter of perception. Develop the confidence to share your perspectives rather than recoil to a victim’s position and ensure that you demonstrate your understanding that you’re on the same team – work with, not at your manager.

Just as your manager’s pleasure is his or her responsibility, your inspiration and motivation are your responsibility. Your manager or organisation do not owe you motivation. If his ways inspire or motivate you, that’s a bonus. Enjoy every moment of it! It is however your obligation to be in the right frame of mind to meaningfully and productively engage with your subordinates, colleagues and superiors. Understand that you alone control your feelings. No other person has the power to control how you feel unless you willingly give them that power.

Job insecurity is a manifestation of what you feel your contribution is. The fear of losing your job is a lack of confidence on the value that you bring to the table. 

If you provide a great service with the requisite attitude, being sacked doesn’t begin to cross your mind because you know you give the best there is and if you’re retrenched due to the pandemic or downsizing for other reasons beyond your control, if you don’t find another opportunity, you’re likely to create your own. This is why it is important to do what you love and work for the prospect of having what you truly want. With such focus, you inevitably give your all.

When you give your best service, it is not about working for your particular organisation or at the behest of a particular manager. It is about providing a service no matter where you work.

Good output can only attract handsome reward and if the reward does not come from this particular organization, there is a gap in your professional life for a more appreciative employer. Great workers simply focus on giving great service. Understand that if you provide a great service, you can do it anywhere. Your employer is not your source of income. Your service is your source of income. 

Your employer is only a channel through which your reward comes. Provided that you give great service, you are not beholden to your employer. It is actually the other way round! The question is: Are you of profitable value to the organization? Would you be an attractive candidate anywhere else? If you can answer in the affirmative to these questions, pay less attention to your bruised ego on being criticized and pay more attention to the lesson therein.

The decision to stay or resign is yours. Whatever you do, know that if you are not offering great service, these issues will come up wherever you go. What is required is for you to become the change that you want, to create the enabling and empowering working relationships that you desire no matter where you work.