Raising daughters, leading courts, and writing history: Judge Lee Muthoga's story

Judge Lee Gacuiga Muthoga during an interview at a media engagement forum on his memoir titled ‘Audacity and Sacrifice’ in Westlands, Nairobi on November 12, 2024.

Photo credit: Wilfred Nyangaresi | Nation Media Group

Over lunch, retired judge Lee Muthoga, in a red tie and suit, picks at his all-protein and veggie lunch. It’s a red-letter day for him, having just released his autobiography that chronicles a successful, long-spanning career and life.

During his life, he led the Law Society of Kenya as chairman and has been the president of the African Bar Association, The African Forum of the International Bar Association, and the International Commission of Jurists, and the founder of the Public Law Institute, amongst other posts and roles.

He can also be remembered as the ad litem judge in the Trial Chamber II of the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda (ICTR).

He turns 80 in two months with his formative years spent studying law in Dar es Salaam as a response to the injustice of colonialism he witnessed growing up.

Good years in Dar, he admits, drinking, smoking, and causing youthful brouhaha. Then, in the following years, he married, built a formidable career and practice, had four daughters, faced the bench in court, sat behind the bench, buried his dear wife, and now spends the remaining years training mediators.

What motivated you to write an autobiography?

The desire to write something was always there but it was always a postponed event. When I was practising, my excuse was that I had no time. When I ceased to practice and became a judge, the excuse was that I had all these cases to hear.

But after Felicine Kabuga (Rwandan businessman and genocide suspect) was declared unfit for trial at the Hague, my trial work ended, and with it reduced my workload significantly so then I had no more excuses left to give my children.

So I wouldn’t say there was a particular reason why I wrote my book; I desired to tell people what my life was like.

What chapter in your book would you like to relive one more time?

[Long pause] That’s a tough one. Probably go back to Dar es Salaam when I was a student. Why? Because now I’m a widower and a father, I have children and responsibilities.

People depend on me and I don’t have that time I had when I was young and freedom to roam and do whatever I wanted. I’d not mind reliving that youth.

You are a dad to four daughters; did you ever desire to have a son?

I started expecting a son, but each time I got another girl. I quickly realised that it’s God who gives children, and it doesn’t matter what we want or desire.

And so if he didn’t want me to have a son, then so be it. I accepted it and tried hard never to show that desire for a boy because I didn’t want my daughters to feel I loved them less because they were girls. That wouldn’t be correct.

Raising four girls would make you a professional of sorts; how was that experience and what would you advise someone starting a similar journey?

Well, if you are raising them with your wife, it’s probably easier because you can leave most of the difficult things for her to handle. [Chuckle]

But if you are raising them alone, then I’m certain you will face challenges that I didn’t. Fortunately, for me, my wife passed on when they were already adults so I didn’t have to deal with the difficult parts alone.

The challenges at teenage—those are difficult years. Christine was particularly a difficult teenager…don’t put this in your little article; I will be in trouble with her. [Chuckle] Once she told me that it was her right to be rebellious. She was 17!

In their adolescence, they tend to be like that so I had to be very assertive to correct these things they pick from schools. Given another chance, I’d still choose to raise girls because they tend to fare better than boys. Even amongst my peers, our girls turned out better than our boys.

What do you think is the problem with boys?

Alcohol. Boys just want to drink alcohol. They don’t want anything more for themselves.

But drinking might be the symptom. What could be the problem?

I don't know. When you find out, will you let me know?

Certainly. When you're a judge, that comes with prominence, power, and privilege. What did all that teach you?

That absolute power corrupts absolutely. It's important that we understand that anyone holding power wants to keep it and they will resist anybody wanting to take it or put him aside. And that is exactly why someone would want to extend their term and that of members of parliament.

This is true of all power holders; anyone who has tasted power will want to hold onto it for as long as they can and manipulate the Constitution if they have to extend their term. It’s very textbook; nothing inventive.

What are you least proud of during your time as a judge?

That I didn't make it to Parliament. I tried. My not going to Parliament was affected by the decision of Mwai Kibaki (former president) to change his constituencies.

And of course, when my time came to give it a go, I was 60 and I couldn't wrestle with him. He was a giant. I abandoned the desire altogether.

How old are you now?

I will be turning 80 in two months.

How does it feel to be 80?

Such a strange question... [Long pause] The Bible says we have 70 years to live our lives and if you're lucky, you get the grace to live to 80 and thereafter you live in misery. [Chuckle]

So, you are headed to misery?

No, but it’s nice to hit 80. I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully, there is no misery that the Bible promises.

As an almost 80-year-old man, what are your desires now?

I doubt there are things out there that I would like to achieve. However, I want to continue training and growing mediators, and playing with my grandchildren.

Lee Gacuiga Muthoga during a media engagement forum on his memoir titled ‘Audacity and Sacrifice’ in Westlands, Nairobi on November 12, 2024.

Photo credit: Wilfred Nyangaresi | Nation Media Group

God has given me incredibly good health and I hope and pray that he keeps me healthy because what defeats people at this age largely is health. By this age your body has worked enough, and it's slowing down its functions.

We all think about death from a certain age when we become aware of our mortality. When you think about death, what are those thoughts like?

[Pause] I try not to think about death because I go to the scriptures and I'm told that where we go is much greater than where we are now. But I'm not in a hurry to go there; I still like it here, but if I have to go then I will go.

The concept of heaven is based on reward. If you're good on earth, you're rewarded in heaven. Have you been good on earth?

That is not my concept of heaven because I am a Christian. You have two choices: accept the Lord Jesus Christ or not. If you do, you become a child of God and you will see heaven.

If you don't, you are waiting for damnation. As far as that is concerned, I have been clear where I would like to be. And I am praying that God will lead me there.

Do certain principles of mediation apply between husband and wife?

Certainly. It’s a hard fact. Marriage is constant mediation. It’s about hearing and listening to your wife and the same applies to wives to their husbands.

At the time I was getting married, my attitude was different. I thought that the husband's only responsibility was to provide for the wife. And the wife's duty was to listen to the husband and not question the husband.

Of course, my wife would go against this often and I would remind her, “If you don't like this, please don't feel like you are in prison. Just go.” She would tell me, “If anyone is going, it will be you, not me”. [Chuckles]

When did your attitude change?

It wasn’t a day or a moment; it was a gradual process shaped by experiences. Learning and unlearning certain beliefs. When I read the Bible now, I don't see that woman was made to serve man or that man is in charge of his home.

That is certain but he is not the boss of the other members of the family. The other members of the family have a duty and obligation to contribute to the welfare of that family.

Did having daughters influence this change of heart in any way?

For sure. I lived in a home where I was a minority. [Laughter] This was the space where I was outnumbered. Nonetheless, my wife was my ally, and now that she is gone, I’m struggling with the loudness of her absence.

Before, when I was getting the heat from the girls, I’d turn to her and tell her, “Deal with your children, please!” Now that she isn’t there, and I have no one to protect me they bombard me and I just surrender. [Chuckle]

What excites you most now?

I think now the excitement is that the book has been published.

Is it excitement or more of relief?

[Pause] It's a relief. That’s right. [Pause] What excites me is the prospect of going on a cruise ship. I have never been on one. I have travelled to many countries in Africa and the rest of the world, but I have never been on a cruise ship.

I want to get on one for a minimum of 21 days even though I have a fear of seasickness. There are casinos in there and bands playing. I think that would be a great adventure to do.

What bad habits have you struggled with in your life?

Drinking? Smoking? When I got married in 1977, I stopped chasing girls. I was 31 years old, which was late in those days, but in my defence this is because when I finished university, I was given two high school children to educate by my father even before I got a job. That kept me busy.

I stopped drinking in 1969 when I was at university because the first time I drank so much I woke up in a ditch. The second time I found myself in a sanatorium at the University of Dar es Salaam. I never touched another drink after that. [Pause]

No, actually, I touched a drink one last time when I accompanied my friend Njogu to Kibera, where he was having trouble with some tenants who were not paying rent.

We followed them into a drinking den where Njogu joined them in drinking. One of the men said, “There is someone here not drinking. He must be the police, and if that's true, then we have to kill him.”I quickly reached for a glass of Waragi [Ugandan homemade alcohol]. [Laughs].

I stopped smoking on Madaraka Day of 1970 when I tried smoking five cigarettes in my office—I had an office in the City Annex - and each time the filter would fall off. I took it as a sign and stopped.

When did your wife pass on?

May 3, 2019. It’s been five years.

My condolences. Do you feel the need for female companionship? Someone to spend your days with?

The need for female companionship is a permanent one. [Pause] But I would not know how to tell my children that I need a female companion.

Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?

[Pause] I don't know. I dare not tell them because I dare not know how and what they would say.

Are you scared to tell them?

[Pause] In some ways, yes. I'm scared for them to imagine that if I bring somebody into the family, she will be coming to demand part of their inheritance.

Are you lonely?

To the nature of the fact that I eat alone on an eight-seater table…yes, I am.

I think you should find a female companion, judge.

So do I. [Laughter] You know, widowers are a neglected lot. Churches and other institutions work very hard to accommodate widows, but nobody ever thinks about widowers.

It's considered that widowers have the option of getting married, and if they are not getting married, it's their fault. I think churches should make way for both people.

PAYE Tax Calculator

Note: The results are not exact but very close to the actual.