“It is easy to look at people and make quick judgements about them, their present and their past, but you would be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often than not, its lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul. Never judge, learn to respect and acknowledge the feelings of another.”
A doctor entered the hospital in a hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call immediately, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father walking up and down the hall waiting for a doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled: “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have the sense of responsibility?”
The doctor smiled and said: “I am sorry, I was not in the hospital and I came as fast as I could after receiving the call and now I wish you would calm down so that I can do my work.”
“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily.
The doctor smiled again and replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book, “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace.”
“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy,” murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor emerged smiling.
“Thank goodness! Your son is saved! If you have any question, ask the nurse” And without waiting for the father’s reply he walked out.
“Why is he so arrogant? Couldn’t he wait a few minutes so that I ask about my son’s state?,” the father asked the nurse.
With tears streaming down her face, the nurse replied: "His son died yesterday in a road accident. He was at the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he was rushing back to finish his son’s burial.”
Before you judge others life, their past or their character, walk in their shoes, walk the path they travelled, live their sorrows, their doubts, their fears, their pain and laughter.
Remember that everyone has a story. When you have lived others’ lives, then you can judge others. In short, we have no eligibility to judge a person based on the limited facts we know.
Yet all of us judge others each moment, each day, knowingly or unknowingly.
How many times have we, while watching a football match, judged the performance of our favourite team, how many times have we judged that our favourite player could play better, how he can take a better position and how he could pass the test of the game.
We conveniently forget the hours of practice they have put in, their physical strength and the strenuous physical demands. We just judge them based on their performance in the 90 minutes and in those 90 minutes we consider ourselves far superior than them in terms of the game. How ridiculous could it be?
1. Do not judge others, you too will be judged: While you can get busy with life judging every other person, you forget the fact that you too will be judged. While you are busy judging others, you forget that your closet is open too, from where skeletons of your life are falling out. Judge yourself before you judge others.
2. Before you judge make sure you are perfect: For in the same way, you judge others, you too will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be used to measure you. We should be rigorous in judging ourselves and gracious in judging others.
3. Don’t judge others’ past, they don’t live there any longer: It is easy to judge people based on their past situations or past deeds, but the fact is that they don’t live there any longer. They may not be in the same situation or may not continue the same deeds, they may have changed to the better or worse depending on the current circumstances.
4. Be mindful, be watchful: In all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others (Will Smith). Never underestimate the pain of the person. Do not criticise what you cannot understand. Remember the pain or discomfort you feel when you are subjected to judgement by those who matter or who do not matter to you. You are not a model on display so are they.
5. Count the goodness, not the shortcomings: Nobody has it easy, everybody has issues. Everybody is fighting their own war. When you look around, the negativity or the shortcomings may stand out but make a conscious effort to look for the goodness in them and not the shortcomings. Take time to look through their situation.
“There’s a story behind every person. There is a reason why they are the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone. When you judge someone you don’t define them, you define yourself.”