Man about town

I am in the race for same job with my CEO

I have had no choice but to massage the numbers
I have had no choice but to massage the numbers and story so that they could meet the CEO’s expectations. FILE PHOTO | NMG 

Shiro has been on my case to make good with Tito and Linda. I found out that Linda and Shiro were classmates at university and are in the same WhatsApp group.

Shiro told me Linda had been sending cryptic messages about what true friendship means and about “kikulacho ki nguoni mwako.” I had told Shiro about the incident without details, but I told her that Linda was blaming me for her husband’s woes.

Shiro told me that she had a side conversation with Linda outside the Whatsapp group to try and offer her support.

After that conversation all Shiro could tell me was, “Let us just say you will not be receiving a Christmas card from Tito any time soon.”

This comment paved the way for Shiro to ‘casually’ ask me: By the way, any word from the job situation.” This time I had no choice but to lie, saying, “Nothing yet.” The truth, however, is I had a phone interview with some multinational company last week.


My contact from the recruitment agency was pretty pleased about this company and kept saying it is one of the blue-chip global companies, so I better prepare.

I decided to rely solely on him this time for tips and advice, fearing that Amisi and Shiro (my usual advisers) might cause me to second-guess myself.

For my interview, I opted to take an afternoon off to avoid interruptions and not to attract any unwanted attention.

The questions were varied and sounded straightforward. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself for it lasted 40 minutes. The interviewer promised getting back to me in a couple of days, but now it has been a week without any alert. It is annoying that I cannot share my frustrations with anyone.

Another source of frustration is the office — the CEO is simply driving me up the wall with First Half results.

In a few weeks, he will be required to present these results to the board.

To be honest, our results are not looking good even after we did some forward manipulation of changing the timings of booking our orders.

We are 23 percent lower than similar time last year and our CEO does not want to hear that.

He keeps saying: “I cannot tell the Board a negative story about losses. I need to tell them about how we are winning. If I do not, they will quickly replace me with Johannes.”

It has been quite a while since the CEO mentioned Johannes, so I have assumed that any plans to have him join the company have been shelved. But from the sound of things, the plans are still on.

I have had no choice but to massage the numbers and story so that they could meet the CEO’s expectations. It is only after 12 versions that he came back and said we were now good to go.

My honest view was that there was not much of a difference between the original set and the last one we submitted. After we submitted the final presentation the CEO told me, “Josphat, I have something to tell you.”

I hate stories that start like this for I know they will not end well. He told me: “I have decided not to push for the renewal of my contract. I have been talking to another multinational and I think they will soon offer me a job.”

I decided to offer the politically correct response by asking: “How do you feel?”

He said: “I am actually pleased about this offer, that way I can stop begging the Board for my job.”

I could not help but ask for the name of the company.”

My jaw almost dropped when he said the name — it seems he and I are interested in working for the same company.

Suddenly the other job lost its allure.