Man about town

I have no clue how to get back into Shiro good books


I have been making every effort to get back into Shiro’s good books ever since the incident from a few weeks back when I showed up late after drinks with my new colleague. I tried to tell her that I never intended to cause any harm but she kept saying, “can you imagine what my mum now thinks about our marriage?”

I told her, “there is nothing wrong with coming late once in while — normal people do that.” She told me, “normal people do, but not my mothers’ family.”

This stunned me quite a bit, so I asked Shiro, “what is that supposed to mean?” Shiro spent the next half hour explaining what the real issue is.

It turns out that Shiro’s mother completely detests alcohol and all other sinful habits since she is the “chairlady of the local women’s guild”. So, according to Shiro, they are all on the best behaviour around their mother and she has even taken it further and told her, “that our household is a non- alcohol place.”

I was tempted to laugh because I could not understand how a usually confident and no-nonsense Shiro could appear this scared of anyone. I realised that for the sake of peace, I would have to join in the charade.

So I asked Shiro, “how do you propose we manage this?” She said, “I know my mother will not be around for long so just do not show up late again.”

I decided to endure the visit and even ignore the accusatory looks that Shiro’s mum would give me for the sake of peace in our house. On the first Monday of the visit, I made all attempts to come home by 6pm so that my mother-in-law could see what a good son-in-law I was.

However, by Thursday my patience was wearing thin since she kept preaching to me and asking me to “accept the Lord as my personal saviour”.

Imagine on Friday morning when I found Shiro’s mum all dressed up looking ready to leave. I asked her, “where are you going this early mum?” She said, “I am going to visit an old friend of mine in Karen for a few days and then I head back to the village.”

This sounded like music to me but I decided to conceal my joy. “We will be sad to see you go but you know you are welcome to go,” I said.

My Friday even got better when I saw an invite from HR for a “Thank God its Friday (TGIF)” session after work. Since it was our first TGIF of the year, everyone was in a good mood and before long it was midnight.

At around midnight someone said, “let’s go clubbing!” This sounded like music to my ears especially since my new colleague Lucy looked super excited about it. I decided to text Shiro about the change in my plans, but realised that I could not since my phone was dead.

I do not know what came over me but by the time I was ready to go home, I could see the sun’s rays. I have a vague recollection of how I got home and how I got into my bed. All I can remember is that it was late Saturday afternoon when I felt slightly normal again. You can imagine my shock when a very irate Shiro walked into the room and said, “why do you always do this to me?” Frankly I was taken aback by her sentiments and I said, “you know that is unfair, what did I do?”

She hysterically narrated the facts. It turns out that her mother’s visit to Karen aborted after she developed some nasty bout of coughing. So Shiro took her to hospital and then back to our house. So, according to Shiro her mother saw everything- from how I drunkenly drove into the parking lot, to how Shiro had to help me walk into the house. So now my mother- in-law thinks I am a drunk. How do I get out of this one?