Shiko to the rescue as appraisals loom again

It is that time of year again and just like the other years, Shiro and I are not in agreement about what we should for Christmas. Shiro is a member of some chama and she tells me that they have planned a trip to the coast for the families.

She excitedly told me about it and said, “we decided to take advantage of the standard gauge railway(SGR) and the offers at the coast and head down there for three days.”

I knew I was treading a dangerous path but I decided to make my sentiments known as I said, “surely you should have asked me first before you committed, how can I spend all that time with strangers and the cost.”

She made a strong case for the trip saying, “they are not strangers, they are my friends and have been to this house many times. You need to get with the programme.”

Deep down, I knew I was not going to win but I said, “let me think about it, will let you know.” Shiro appeared appeased by this and said, “you need to think fast, I need to make a decision by end of day tomorrow.”

In all honesty, I like spending Christmas in the village where I feel that I am in charge and where I hang out with my age mates and my people. However, I know that Shiro will not allow me to get off easy this time so I might as well suck it up and get ready for Christmas at the Coast.

Things in the office are not any better though everyone is hopeful that now that the elections are over things will look up. Yesterday the CEO came up to me and said, “Josphat, we need to set aside some time for you and I to have the end of year review. I would like for you to table the things you have achieved and we can discuss and review.”

I am shocked at how early he seems to want this done, since my previous boss was a last minute kind of person. He said, “I want to get this out of the way since I plan to be away on holiday for one month from December 11.” Clearly this CEO is way different from my previous boss who could never take more than a week off at time.

So I started trying to draft the list of achievements I think I have accomplished this year. I have been struggling to compile a list that sounds impressive and that makes me sound like a super achiever. I actually went online to try and Google on “ ways to write an impressive performance review,” but did not come up with much.

By the time, I completed my first draft I realised that my achievements sounded hollow and not that earth shattering. I needed to find a way to make my work sound more exciting.

That evening when I got home I decided to tell Shiro about the trip to the coast. I told her, “after much thought and deliberation, I have decided that the coast it is for Christmas.” She was very excited about this and quickly said, “I must tell everyone- I think I will form a whatsapp group so that we can finalise everything and so that no one is left behind.” Within minutes she had formed the group and soon enough there were messages flying back and forth and I was already feeling overwhelmed.

Since Shiro was in a good mood, I decided to ask her for some help regarding my achievements dilemma. I told her about my situation and she said,” well all you need to do is sex up your achievements, can I see what you have done.”

I shared with her the draft and soon enough she was making edits on her computer. When she was done, the document looked so much better than what I had initially done.

She concluded by saying, “babes, I think you need a career coach- to help you with this kind of stuff.” I hate that career stuff nonsense but I think it might be a useful idea.

I told her, “I cannot stand having a coach in the office who will know all my stuff.”

She said,”not to worry, I can get you someone from outside the office.” Once again, Shiro to the rescue.