Workmates call me a sycophant for refusing to snitch on boss

We finally received our bonus payment— and though it was not what I had hoped for, it is somehow reasonable. I was sitting in the canteen having lunch with my colleagues who asked me, “So, Josphat, do you know how much the CEO got as bonus, since he paid us peanuts?” I responded, “I really do not know since that is confidential information, all I care about is what comes to my bank.” They started laughing as one of them said, “either you are a good liar, or you are just naïve. Your boss is raking in millions as some of us become beggars.”

I sometimes get amused whenever such conversations arise because most employees feel that their CEOs are hugely overpaid. I also feel that Kenyans pontificate too much and change nothing. So, I told them, “ I am sure the CEO negotiated his pay and his bonus carefully and maybe we need to learn how to do the same.” They did not seem to like the fact that I was defending the boss and said, “ you keep being his sycophant and let us see where that takes you.” I decided that it was better to change the topic, so I broached some discussion on politics. As expected, my colleagues got quite animated and started talking about what the “handshake” means for local politics.

When I went back to my desk, I could not help but ruminate over what my colleagues had said. I must say it bothered me that they considered me a sycophant— makes me sound like a weak man. I was also very curious about how much the CEO had earned as bonus— and I felt that I needed to find out what the figure is just to settle my curiosity. The challenge was how to get the information.  

My thoughts were interrupted by Lucy who came to my desk and said, “Jose, I hear people are calling you a sycophant.”

I was taken aback by that and said, “you are only a few months old here and you are listening to rumours.” Sensing that I was a bit angry she said, “relax, it is just that I overheard some guys talking about you during lunch. They said you have all the information on the CEO’s bonus, yet you will not tell them.” I felt I had to set the record straight with her. “Listen Lucy, you can tell those people to call me whatever they want, I will not become a snitch.  Plus, we have bills to pay, we came here to work not to tell stories.” Lucy’s laughing stopped as she said, “really I meant no harm, I was just letting you know what people are saying.”

I analysed the situation and figured out that it would not make sense for me to become enemies with Lucy—after all she could be my source for information. So, I offered an olive branch and said, “ sorry I flew off the handle, I just hate it when people spread funny stories. Let us get back to work.” Lucy seemed sufficiently appeased and said “ no offence taken, let us get back to work.”

During my next session with my life coach, I will raise the issue of perception. I will ask him to advise me on how to change the perception about me amongst my colleagues—sycophant does not sound good whichever you look at it.  The rest of the afternoon passed by uneventfully.

My phone rang just as I was getting ready to head home. It was Gacheri. She said “Sweetie, I am in your neighbourhood. Let’s have a drink, I know your wife is away.”

Once again, my curiosity was aroused, and I said “how do you know that Shiro is away?” Gacheri laughed and said, “easy, I follow her on Twitter!”  It then hit me—I am not even Shiro’s friend on Facebook, and I do not follow her on Twitter. Clearly, I need to do a lot more in terms of finding out what people are saying out there. I told Gacheri, “let’s have a drink, I will be with you in half an hour.”

PAYE Tax Calculator

Note: The results are not exact but very close to the actual.