How you can avoid being victim of manipulation

Your goals sometimes sound unrealistic and you’re not sure whether they are actually achievable. You are very nimble and effective on some tasks but fail to get started until the eleventh hour on some very crucial projects.

À self-assured individual, tour Ideas make a lot of sense, it is just that there is rarely an opportunity for you to express yourself.  Other people who make much less sense can take up a lot of airtime, can’t they?   And one of your superiors’ name starts with an ‘S’.  You enjoy the challenge in a variety of engagements but have difficulty being stifled in a job that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. 

You’re without doubt a dedicated member of staff.  It is simply that work-life balance is difficult to achieve and that explains why it may seem that you run out the door like a bat from hell at 5pm.  You know that once you get a better maid, your spouse becomes more supportive, the kids grow up a little more, you buy a better car... well, when things become less demanding at home, you will give your career a lot more attention.

If this describes you, you may want to rethink your position.  It also describes every other Tom, Dick and Harry down the hall from you.  I could go on and with every sentence seem to speak to seven out of 10 people reading this. However close this may seem to you, I regret to inform you that I do not have any answers or solutions for you.  

I haven’t had the honour of  knowing you as an individual.  I have only spent a tremendous amount of time working with people as they seek to grow themselves.  That does not confer upon me any special powers to solve problems, it just gives me more experience than many have. That is all.

Unfortunately many of us are desperately looking for easy quick-fix solutions to all manner of situations from job loss to stagnant careers to weight management and everything in-between. 

The ability to read and interpret other people’s situations is very powerful.  This coupled with a person in a desperate enough situation and we have a perfect scenario for exploitation. 

It is imperative that we understand that greed is an inherent trait in us.  Unchecked, it generally manifests as manipulation of vulnerable persons.  Please be aware that few will hesitate to indulge  this selfishness at the slightest opportunity to exploit others. 

We must begin to see life as it really is and not through the eyes of others who would not hesitate to take advantage of us.  While some will forcefully grab and make off with your property on the streets, others are more subtle in their approach.   We have got to learn to question those who claim to possess special skills that can benefit us in one way or another.  It is in their favour that we are largely conditioned to embrace blind faith.  

Our world is a totally different one from the one that we were taught to have faith in.  Earlier, most specialists, priests, pastors and other experts were honest.  We can benevolently excuse their current way arguing that they are repeatedly exposed to the current material attractions and heavily commercialised life that serves largely to distract them from practising integrity.  

The truth is that they are dishonest.

Take due caution on any engagements that you undertake - even if money is not involved.  In fact, you want to be triple careful if that is the case.  Be  clear about what governs the relationship.  

Obligations and expectations on both sides need to spelled out at the onset. Because common sense takes a back seat after our emotions when faced with various situations, let us go over this together. 

The specialist should give you an opinion. You should understand what this opinion is from the onset.

It is imperative to understand exactly what you should expect to do, how much you’re required to spend and for how long and exactly what that gets you in return.  You should also know what your responsibility is and what your obligations to the specialist are. 

These among other prerequisites make for a much smoother interaction devoid of manipulation or exploitation of any kind.