Introverted Brides or Grooms

shy bride or groom
A shy bride or groom should feel no pressure to be anything else other than reserved. FILE PHOTO | NMG 

While most people love the idea of being the centre of attention and even thrive, there are others who feel drained if they are in crowds and regain their energy when spending time alone.

For introverts, occasions such as weddings are more hectic than exciting. An introverted bride or groom thinks of the idea of being the centre of attention as a nightmare and even gets anxiety from just thinking of it.

Get an extra room

Kanyi Ohawa, the CEO of All and Sundry, a wedding planner, says that the most important thing for an introverted bride or groom is to take a moment, or two to just breathe.

“An introvert prefers calmness and minimally stimulating situations. They avoid large groups of people, it is okay for them to get just a few minutes alone in quiet during a wedding to replenish,” she says.


Chemtai and Alex Chamia of Bloomingdale planners agree with this saying that picking a good location can make the wedding day a little bearable for the introverted bride or groom.

“The choice of venue is crucial. For example, if a couple picks a hotel venue then the introverted bride or groom can get a room where one can get away but still be available,” says Chemtai.

Ohawa who happens to be an introvert speaks from experience and says she would have loved to have all the help she could have on her wedding day. “It was 18 years ago and we did not have wedding planners at the time so I kept all my fears to myself. On that day, I was terrified that I would trip and fall while walking down the aisle,” says Ohawa.

No face-to-face

She says that it is especially hard for a bride whose appearance commands attention on her wedding day. From the dress she wears to the flowers that she carries, all eyes focus on the bride.

Some women bask in the attention, they glow brighter in the princess moment. But for the introverted bride, the anticipation of hundreds of eyes watching her glide down the aisle is enough to induce a panic attack.

She says that a wedding planner is a good buffer zone for the bride or groom who would rather not deal with the prepping and planning the big day because it can be an uncomfortable experience.

“Explaining to them what you want will make it possible to avoid those face-to-face meetings with vendors and all the toils of dress shopping which overwhelm the quiet people even more,” she says.

Do dry runs

Ohawa adds that a good planner can also advise on what the day would be like and a dry run can make the day whole lot better.

“When you know what is going to happen and anticipate the event, then this will make it easier for the introvert especially if they have a good planner who talks them through it all,” says Ohawa.

Chemtai says that a planner who understands the couple is just what an introverted bride or groom needs.

“The planning can be intense and an introvert does not want to be bothered, so it is a good thing to have chemistry with a planner who understands what you are ready or not ready to deal with,” she says.

A few wedding planners nowadays assign a member of their team to be with the bride and groom throughout the day of the wedding.

“We always have a person who will be there for the couple and this makes it especially easy for an introvert because they get to delegate all the duties they do not want to deal with to the planner,” says Alex.

Chemtai says while a big wedding is good for most people, an introvert should opt for a more intimate ceremony where the people around them understands them.

“A destination wedding would best for an introvert,” says Chemtai.