As Kenyans delay having children, with some starting parenthood in their mid-40s, playgrounds and kindergartens are having older parents who sometimes find it hard to fit in.
Yvette Waswa had her second child after she clocked 40.
Having suffered from severe nausea, vomiting and weight loss during her first pregnancy she was hesitant to have another child as it would interfere with her career.
Now aged 43, Yvette says her perspective on late motherhood has changed and she is even contemplating getting another baby.
In a kindergarten meeting, a teacher asks parents to role-play a PE lesson, so that they get a feel of what their children learn in school. It is awkward, more so for older parents. A few fathers and mothers in the late 40s and 50s complain about the “childish exercise” while the younger parents giggle as they remove their high-heels to play with their children on grass.
As Kenyans delay having children, with some starting parenthood in their mid-40s, playgrounds and kindergartens are having older parents who sometimes find it hard to fit in.
Yvette Waswa had her second child after she clocked 40. Having suffered from severe nausea, vomiting and weight loss during her first pregnancy she was hesitant to have another child as it would interfere with her career.
Now aged 43, Yvette says her perspective on late motherhood has changed and she is even contemplating getting another baby.
“I had my daughter through elective C-section at 39 weeks of pregnancy because people around me including doctors freaked me out with tales of the danger,” says the mother-of-two whose career is in public relations.
There are many reasons why women are choosing to have babies in their 40s. Yvette says she was establishing a career before embarking on parenthood, some remarry and want to have children with new partners while others are not sure when to start and age catches on.
She says she is not the only one in her 40s with a toddler. Last year alone, she attended four baby showers of women who are her age mates.
At school functions and other social gatherings, her saving grace, she says, has been her young looks, making it easy for her to easily mingle with younger parents.
She is part of a growing community of Generation X women around the world for whom motherhood began at 40-plus.
Peter Muraya of Victoria Kids Care in Garden Estate, Nairobi says a majority of mums at the kindergarten are working parents aged under 40 years. “Of the 70 children we had last year, 20 per cent were from women aged over 40 years most of who are businesswomen or self/employed,” he says.
The Generation X mums, he says, exhibit no difficulty mingling with their younger counterparts during school open days.
However the ones who are over the 50 have abit of difficulty holding and keeping conversations with the younger mothers.
“These are the ones that do not even check e-mails,” says Peter.
Linda Matoke who manages a children nature adventure playground in Nairobi notes that Generation X mums featuring at the park is nothing new.
She is quick to add however that the older mums are mostly foreigners who delayed child birth because perhaps they were not ready before 40 years or they lacked the desire to have children but changed their minds later on.
Prof Halimu Suleiman Shauri, a sociologist explains improvements in healthcare coupled with women empowerment as being some of the contributors to delayed parenthood.
“Most of the women are realising they are not in this world for the sole purpose of bearing children but also to enjoy themselves,” he said.
Prof Shauri notes that the idea of getting a child is becoming more of a personal choice than a communal one as was the case traditionally.
Traditionally, the community attached a lot of premium on children and went as far as dictating the age at which a woman ought to have started bearing children.
“But westernisation, globalisation and modernisation have brought to the fore the issue of gender empowerment, allowing women to enjoy a right to control their decisions in life,” he said.
IVF and surrogacy
Improved healthcare has meant that older, rich women can now conceive through science and go through pregnancy under monitoring by good gynaecologist.
Child birth is no longer a game of chances as was the case in the past.
Aside from conceiving naturally, the 40-plus can opt for donor eggs or IVF — an assisted reproductive technology used for infertility treatment and gestational surrogacy.
Kenya has the least fertility rate in East Africa, data by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) shows, pointing to a drop in number of children in modern homes.
The report, dubbed The Power of Choice: Reproductive Rights and the Demographic Transition, shows that on average a Kenyan family has three children — the least when compared to that of other countries in the region.
The fertility rate is higher in rural areas, at four children, compared with urban women’s two children.
Since the 1970s, when a Kenyan woman had an average of more than eight births, family size has been shrinking, according to UNFPA.
