Success clichés that confine people to unfulfilled dreams

Mogeni lived for weekends. When Friday at 5pm arrived each week, he felt joy and excitement.

He spent Saturdays working on a side business and then Sundays relaxing with friends. But by Mondays, Mogeni begrudgingly walked up the stairs to his office.

He flung open the company door and stared at the rows of desks. He trotted over to his seat. Then came the sound of ringing. Mogeni clamoured to answer his phone with a feeling of disappointment. He could not stand talking to clients.

Unfortunately, Mogeni’s parents forced him to take a marketing major at university. But he always fostered dreams throughout his life of operating his own tourist hotel at the Kenyan coast.

So, every day Mogeni must live out his parents’ dream instead of his own. Inasmuch, he feels miserable Monday through Friday each week.

Many students as well as Business Daily readers inquire about how to find a job and choose a career. However, a more appropriate question should entail how to fulfill your desired plan for your life.

Many people spend inordinate amounts of time planning for their businesses or working on strategies for their employers. But experts contend that one should apply the same rigour to one’s own life.

Often individuals implement a haphazard approach to planning their own existence. Do you come up with targets for what you desire to achieve in one year, three years, five years, 10 years, 20 years, and beyond? If so, do you just imagine generalisations such as live in a “good home” or “get married and have kids”?

Such shallow answers leave you with a dismal roadmap. Absent a clear plan, you fall victim to what scientists call the poor judgments of impulse. So do not mentally just think that you desire a “good home”, but rather you desire a four bedroom maisonette in Kitengela by the age of 30.

Do not just dream of marriage, but what type of personality do you hold and what personality in a mate would adequately suit your needs over the long term? Do not go about your day to day life with proverbial blinders over your eyes.

You might recall the common cliché “follow your gut”. Popular culture dictates that we should listen to the inner voice inside us.

Further, society advocates for realising our initial reaction to a stimulus or situation as the correct response. Many friends tell each other “do not over think it”. However, such phrases and clichés create terrible results.

Research shows that humans make stunningly poor decisions when relying on their gut or initial impulses. The human brain evolved to react instantly to stimuli and make snap decisions regarding safety in the bush: threat or harmless.

Then if a threat, should we fight or flee. So, psychologically we quickly compare various factors to determine threat worthiness and our immediate responses to intimidation.

Societal fallacy

Inasmuch, colleagues in an office make instant decisions about whether they like a new colleague or fast thoughts about whether to accept a new job offer.

But modern society requires higher order thinking. Our survival-oriented mind will give us preliminary opinions. Nevertheless, we must push beyond early bias and think through scenarios logically and think through the likelihood probabilities of X, Y, and Z leading to outcomes A, B, and C as an example.

Holding a detailed life plan helps you to make judgments regarding all future decisions. On the flip side, remain open to new ideas.

But do not blindly accept change without viewing it through the lens of your life plan. Revisit your life plan on a regular basis with preset intervals of perhaps every three months and note your progress, struggles, and make any adjustments to your plan and your expectations.

Another societal fallacy involves the impression that bright people can perform well in any career. Many parents try to force children, like Mogeni above, into careers we think will best suit them.

We may refuse to pay tertiary education fees unless our children, nieces, and nephews follow our course and career advice. Such steps present youth with horrible choices between their happiness versus not advancing at all.

Since Kenyan society fosters high power distance between those in authority and the general populace, such distance also creeps into families and youth fear to voice discontent with forced planning. Each person psychologically holds unique combinations of traits, preferences, and desires.

Introverts may function better as accountants than marketers no matter who tries to force them otherwise. Extroverts may prefer finance as opposed to accounting.

Others find particular industries, like real estate, manufacturing, or financial services, fascinating and would thrive in such environments. People must work in what they enjoy.

However, individuals must also factor in the probability of success in their desired fields.

If someone really dreams of a singing career, but chances of success in the music industry might stand at 0.001 per cent, then a job that showcases the same creative talent, such as a drama or music teacher, may result in an 80 per cent probability of success. So a person could push for their dream while simultaneously boosting their next best option.

An individual increases his or her happiness by setting realistic expectations. Dreaming obsessively about playing in the English Premier League or building a palatial home in Muthaiga decreases happiness as such scenarios usually never become reality.

Many books and articles purport to offer the secrets of happiness. However, scientists already know the most integral component to happiness throughout life: manage your expectations to realistic possible outcomes.

Discuss life planning with other Business Daily readers on Twitter through #KenyaJobs.

Prof Scott serves as the Director of the New Economy Venture Accelerator (NEVA) at USIU’s Chandaria School of Business, www.ScottProfessor.com, and may be reached on: [email protected] or follow on Twitter: @ScottProfessor