Long monologue that turned me into a husband

It is hard to believe how my life has turned out. I had imagined that I would get married at 40 but here I am a husband and father of two children with a third one on the way.

If someone asked me, I am happy, I would hesitate for a second and say, “I guess I am.” Let us start with the job situation; I have been working on the same procurement and logistics job for the last six years despite the fact that I had planned to change jobs after year three.

Truth is that I have become somewhat comfortable and a bit hesitant to change jobs considering that our sacco gives loans at six per cent and as a manager in procurement and logistics, I enjoy a lot of clout both inside and outside the company.

There are times I feel that I have enough goodwill that I can run for political office some day, maybe in our constituency back at home.

Peninah, has managed to be a good homemaker though she keeps pestering me about the need for us to have a church wedding. You see, we ended up as husband and wife by pure default.

When I was in Mombasa, Peninah would come visiting me from time to time and after a while that changed to twice a month. After four months of such visits she came to me with the news, “We are expecting.”

She said it with a lot of excitement and I just could not understand what was giving her such joy and so I responded, “But this was not planned, I am not ready to be a father.”

This really annoyed Peninah and she left in a huff. That afternoon, I went to the pub and took a lot of alcohol to numb the fact that I was scared of becoming a father and I did not know what to do.

After a couple of days, I called Peninah but she would not take my calls and she refused to take any of the calls throughout the pregnancy. By month eight, I was actually enjoying the fact that I had escaped the issue of becoming a father.

My life was going on well till about a month later when my father called me and summoned me.

“You need to come home immediately.” Something in his tone told me that this was important and that he would not take a No for an answer. So, I headed to the village.

When I got home, I was stunned to get a rather lukewarm greeting from my mother and spotted about four of my uncles sitting under a tree. All kinds of scenarios played on my mind: “ Was my father unwell? Was there a family dispute?”

I shook hands of my uncles who coldly told me, “Young man, sit down!” I sat and asked, “Where is my father?” My uncle told me, “He is coming and once he is here we shall start?”

I stammered: “Start what?” One of my uncles known for his sarcasm said: “You are too young to be asking me so many questions, just wait.”

Shut up!

My father finally appeared after what seemed to be the longest 10 minutes. His face was long and severe and I knew I was in trouble. In some way I was relieved that I would get to find out what the problem was.

“Young man! In our family we do not throw away our sons. We do what is right!” one of the uncles started.

This was followed by lectures from two other men about the need for men to take responsibility. All my attempts to try and put in some word were met with “Shut up!”

It was only after close to 40 minutes of hard lecturing that I got to understand what the drama was all about. Turned out that Peninah’s family had been in touch with my family regarding the fact that I had walked away from her during her pregnancy.

It also turned out that she had delivered a son, my Son. My family was not letting this one pass and as my uncle told me, “Can you take your woman and your wife!”

That set in motion the journey that has turned me into a father and husband.