In many workplaces today, employees' confidence diminishes quietly due to low self-esteem and confidence. Factors like how employees are treated affect self-esteem if they feel they are not valued.
It influences how they communicate, negotiate workloads, handle conflict, do their work and position themselves for opportunities. This article highlights the importance of, and ways developing assertive skills.
Self-esteem is simply confidence in one’s worth and abilities. Research shows that people with healthy esteem view themselves as capable, likeable and deserving of respect.
When esteem is low, people often respond to everyday pressures in less constructive ways, such as aggressively, passively, and through subtle manipulation, designed to protect themselves from discomfort.
Aggressive employees raise their voices, dominate discussions, focus on winning, or use criticism as a weapon. Passive individuals tend to avoid confrontation, are overly apologetic, hesitate to express their needs, and frequently give in.
Manipulative behaviour falls in between, guilt-tripping colleagues, shifting blame or influencing situations indirectly to avoid responsibility. These conduct patterns strain relationships, weaken collaboration and undermine trust within teams.
Assertive individuals express their thoughts and needs clearly and respectfully, take responsibility for their actions and maintain their dignity without demeaning others. They demonstrate emotional intelligence. They are as fair, reliable and confident.
Assertiveness is the ability to state one’s views, feelings, and expectations clearly, listening with and responding with empathy, and respecting others' views. This balanced approach supports clarity and stability.
Becoming assertive begins with recognising situations that cause discomfort. Emotional intelligence plays a major role here, helping individuals identify what behaviour bothers them, why it triggers certain feelings, and others.
With self-awareness, people can choose communication strategies that preserve their own well-being while maintaining positive relationships with colleagues.
Consider an employee who repeatedly arrives late. A non-assertive supervisor may ignore the behaviour or react harshly. An assertive response is direct: “I’ve noticed you’ve been arriving past 9am several times this month. It disrupts planning for the day. I need you to commit to being here by 9am starting tomorrow.” This approach focuses on behaviour and sets a clear expectation.
Assertiveness is equally important in personal boundaries. When someone owes money and misses a deadline, many people choose silence to avoid confrontation. A balanced message might be: “You had committed to repay the loan last Friday.
The delay has affected my plans. Please let me know the new date you will clear it.”
Assessing assertiveness requires honest reflection. How easily can you say no? Do you express concerns when necessary? Can you ask questions without feeling inadequate? Are you comfortable stating your needs or offering a different opinion? If these actions feel difficult, the underlying concern is often confidence and self-esteem.
Strengthening assertiveness skills begins by acknowledging one’s rights: the right to make mistakes, to be treated fairly, to ask for clarification, and to decline unreasonable demands.
Workers who struggle to say no often find themselves overwhelmed, carrying extra workloads, lending money under pressure or agreeing to commitments out of guilt rather than willingness. This not only affects their performance but also their emotional and physical well-being.
Assertiveness requires honesty and clarity. A simple statement such as, “I’m not available to assist with that task as I have a meeting at 10am,” is enough. Don’t create excuses lest you open negotiations. A response to an invitation might be: “Thank you for thinking of me. I’ll pass this time, but I appreciate the invitation.”
Handling criticism requires assertiveness skills. If the criticism or feedback is unclear, ask for examples. Then evaluate whether it is accurate, partly true or unfounded. When justified, acknowledge it: “I understand your concern about the delay; I will plan better next month.” If partly true, agree and reject the inaccurate part. “I agree this month’s report was late, but previous reports have been timely.” If untrue, respond calmly: “I don’t agree that the submission was late. According to our records, it was submitted yesterday afternoon.”
Criticism plays a crucial role in personal development. Individuals who handle criticism assertively grow stronger, more self-aware and more resilient.
Assertive skills have a direct link to career growth. Employees who express their ideas and request development opportunities stand out.
They engage more confidently in performance discussions, participate actively in projects and position themselves for leadership roles. Visibility, often a prerequisite for advancement, increases when individuals speak up with clarity.
On a personal level, assertiveness strengthens self-respect, supports better decision-making, set boundaries that protect an employee’s well-being, contribute to their emotional stability, confidence and personal fulfilment.
Within teams, assertive communication enhances collaboration. Leaders with assertive skills inspire trust because they communicate expectations clearly, correct issues respectfully, and create psychologically safe environments.
Assertiveness strengthens self-esteem, enhances performance and supports success at every stage of one’s career. In a demanding work environment, the ability to express oneself confidently and respectfully is essential for personal growth, healthy relationships and effective leadership.
The writer is a HR Strategist and Career and Leadership Coach.
