Qn.“Does temperament depend on one’s order of birth? I have heard of claims that it is okay for first-borns to be harsh and high tempered”
For the Jewish people, the first born son has a very special role, and in terms of inheritance. He is entitled to a double portion. In the Book of Genesis 25:26 we read the story of Isaac and his two sons Jacob and Esau. For a small amount of food, Esau the first son sold his birthright to Jacob.
The story details the contest between the two boys even as they were in their mother’s womb. It was indeed with their mother’s help (Rebecca) that Jacob outwitted his father Isaac, into blessing him as though he was the first born, a position that rightly belonged to Esau.
The first born story in the Bible has also significance to animals. In Exodus 13:2 we read, “Consecrate to me every first born male.
The first offspring of every womb among the Israelites belong to me, whether human or animal”.
Just to put this matter to rest, we look at some African tribes including the Bantu where the firstborn son is given a special place in the management of family affairs (Muramati among the Gikuyu).
It is also true that with the privilege of being the first born comes the responsibility of looking after the rest of the family especially when the parents grow old and relinquish some of their roles in society.
It is perhaps because of this responsibility that first borns seem to behave like parents at an early age and, therefore, appear harsh when they, like parents, seem to insist on discipline at home.
One of the benefits of being a lay person is that one can hold views that are not supported by any evidence.
In popular Psychology for example, it is taken as fact that first borns are somehow different from their siblings in being more independent, intelligent and adaptable.
Absence of evidence does not stop many lay people from quoting a contemporary of Sigmund Freud (Carl Jung) who was the first person to put this fascinating theory on the table. He held the view that first borns had different experience of life in many aspects. Being harsh was perhaps one of the ways in which they were different.
Of significance, and perhaps also relevant to your question is the concept that the first born felt “dethroned” by the second born. According to this view, arrival of a second child made the first to feel like a second class citizen and without the 100 per cent love and affection that he enjoyed before the arrival of this new competition.
If this is what you have observed then the harshness may be a manifestation of this Jungian completion. Life, however, is not that simple because you then have to explain what happens to middle children who should, perhaps feel left out of the equation.
To put it differently therefore, there are other factors that come into play in the determination of personality of children that are over and beyond the order of birth.
Sadly for you, therefore, birth order in science has zero effect on personality! xxx This is not to say that there is no rivalry between siblings.
From early childhood, right up to adulthood, there is a sense of competition between siblings. Happily, for most families this competition is of little significance and does not lead to much angst in the family dynamic.
For some of the players, the claim to the position of leadership in inheritance is that they are the eldest. For others, because they are the youngest and therefore most loved by the departed parent(s).
Still others claim a special position because they played the greatest role in the terminal care of the parents either because they run the business for the parents or paid the hospital bills.
Your question is not simply about the temperament of first born children. It is about the totality of the family dynamics in our society in general and the factors that are at play.
PAYE Tax Calculator
Note: The results are not exact but very close to the actual.
