At The Capital Club in Nairobi, he sits waiting with meticulous notes—a signature of his methodical nature. His clean-shaven face complements an Avant-Garde Kaunda suit paired with sockless designer loafers, marking him as a quintessential urban aesthete.
Ken Wathome was an apple that fell precisely where destiny intended, raised by a formidable figure who was one of the pioneers of Kenya's intelligence services - trained with the Scotland Yard, etc.
His father was more than a father; he was a visionary sage who not only glimpsed the future but armed his son with tools to master its uncertainties.
It gave him a roadmap for life and the necessary principles that propelled him to professional heights steering Faulu Ltd and National Standards Council-KBS (among others) to his current position chairing Transformational Business Network [TBN] East Africa and NW Realite, a real estate business.
Your dad must have been quite the fellow.
When I received the admission letter to Alliance High School, he handed me a walking stick like the one he had, only shorter. You know, the one with a sword inside? It felt like a rite of passage.
We then took a long walk together, where he talked to me because I’d never left Nyeri. He told me that where I was going would be different, and that I would meet people who were cleverer than me—both good and bad people.
He emphasised the importance of forming connections and creating a support system, explaining the power of relationships. That moment became the foundation for what I consider my greatest gift: networking. That was one defining moment for me. The next was marriage.
How did you meet your wife?
I met Jane in church at Consolata after my A-levels during the gap year before university. I was studying accounting at Strathmore University.
I was leaving church with a friend when he ran into a family friend who was with this girl who completely captivated me. At the time, Jane was attending Kianda School. We got married on August 26, 1989.
Marriage was very important for us because it aligned us around faith and values. Early in our marriage, we found Christ, who became our anchor. I liken life to a sailing journey: before a ship sets sail, it needs to be anchored, and that anchor consists of a set of values that guide you through life.
Sailing makes sense only if you have a true north— a purpose and a mission. When my wife and I got married, we joined Nairobi Chapel, where I am now a trustee.
I became an elder and chaired the elders' board. It was an incredible period with a lot of mentorship, as I sat on the elder's board alongside older men.
Throughout my life journey, I had friends who were ten years older than me. I learned early on that you can gain a lot of wisdom from their experiences. Through this, I also learned about virtuous leadership, which involves being magnanimous, wanting the best for others, and having the courage to do what’s right for the greater good. [Consults notes]
Then children came…
Yes, but even before that, we committed to building a lasting marriage. When we had children, we approached parenting very seriously—as if it were a project. Kevin is 34, Brian is 33, and our daughter Deborah is 30 and a lawyer in London. Kevin works in real estate, while Brian runs IT businesses, and I chair several of them.
When they were younger, we sat down to create a family constitution—a set of rules, dos and don'ts, with consequences. We agreed to be guided by the Ten Commandments, and we committed to uphold what we wrote in the constitution.
This changed everything because, even when someone made a mistake, they would step forward, admit it, and acknowledge the consequences. I was clear about my goal: I needed to prepare these children to be independent and self-sufficient when the time came.
What are your struggles now as a 61-year-old man with grown children?
Ironically, my struggles revolve around my grown children. I wonder how we can ensure that their generation can live in peace, as we did, in a relatively stable environment.
You can raise a family well, but they live in a world over which you have less control. For me, the issues concerning the future of our nation are paramount. We need to provide them with reassurance and a sense of security.
What do you spend most of your time on now?
I spend most of my time thinking and mentoring. As I entered my 40s, I began to appreciate the value I gained from being around older people.
However, as I became older, I recognised the importance of engaging with younger generations. Now, I take a 360-degree approach, connecting with both younger and older individuals. It’s been mutually enriching because I learn a lot from the younger generation about the world’s current state and future direction. In return, I share insights from my experiences.
You've been married for 36 years. What are your key lessons in marriage?
One key lesson is to start the marriage journey by viewing your wife as a life partner. You need to be friends and genuinely enjoy each other's company. The vows you take are significant; "until death do us part" means committing to making it work from the start.
Ken Wathome poses for a photo at Karen in Nairobi on February 5.
Photo credit: Bonface Bogita | Nation Media Group
Another lesson is to recognise early on that men and women are fundamentally different. We think differently—women are often more relational and emotional, while men tend to be more independent and status-driven. Understanding this helps avoid the mistake of trying to change each other.
Additionally, the power of a support system is crucial. I tell young people they are the average of the five individuals they spend the most time with. If you want to succeed in life, aim to raise that average.
That’s something I’ve implemented in my life. Yes, there have been times I've distanced myself from certain friends because they affected my average negatively
What's the hardest thing you've ever had to do?
[Long pause] That’s a good question. During my time in public service as the chair of a government entity, I was operating under the mandate of the parent ministry, as was the Cabinet Secretary (CS), who appointed the CEO.
I found myself in a situation where the CS and I disagreed on a fundamental issue that I felt could lead to my disrespect in the future. Saying no was difficult.
This particular CS orchestrated my removal late at night, which left me with a sense of loss since my journey was cut short. My wife knows I usually move on quickly, but with this situation, she noticed that I lingered.
What’s unique about your 60s?
They are much more relaxed. Many of my peers are no longer in positions of influence, and that’s a reality I’ve come to accept. One thing that prepared me for this season was when I was 30; I decided that by age 50, I wouldn’t be reporting to an office as a chief executive, but instead would have a CEO beneath me.
I observed many people and realised that men are often defined by their positions and status. I wanted to be defined by who I am rather than by my title or position. I believe I can contribute more meaningfully this way.
What's your mantra on money?
Life is a journey, and money is like a vehicle: you can either be in the driver's seat controlling it or in the back seat, allowing it to dictate your direction.
Money has the potential to take you anywhere, so to me, it’s a means to an end, not the end itself. I believe it is something that God has given us to achieve a purpose much greater than the pursuit of money alone.
If you look back at your life, what would you skip, tweak, or do differently?
In terms of parenting, I wish I had paid more attention to the character of each child before making crucial decisions about their tertiary education and university choices.
I don’t think my sons were ready to start a life in a foreign country, which made it a real challenge for them to adjust compared to my daughter. It really depends on personality.
What do you struggle with in terms of your relationship with God?
Given that the God we serve is holy and righteous, striving to live a righteous life is a challenging endeavour. The path of righteousness is narrow, and it’s important to keep correcting ourselves when we stray.
The key is to keep moving forward, even when we falter, and to remember our moral compass. Another challenge is helping people understand the distinction between faith and religion.
Based on your definition of success, do you feel you've achieved it?
Success is a journey. It involves fulfilling what you believe God has called you to accomplish at each stage of life. For the past 32 years, I have engaged in an annual planning process where we set goals for the year and evaluate our progress at the end.
I view life in terms of phases and seasons. This particular year, I am focused on facilitating my second-born son's marriage, which is significant for me. Additionally, we are involved in helping Nairobi Chapel restructure and reimagine its future.
You’ve had a long and fulfilling marriage. Is it important for your children to experience the same, and would you be disappointed if their marriages don’t succeed?
No, I wouldn’t be disappointed. Our prayer is that we have modeled stability in marriage, and we hope they will learn from that.
If their marriages were to fail, we wouldn’t blame them; we would move on and support them as they navigate their challenges. Relationships for children can be complicated because they meet people from various backgrounds in different situations, making it difficult to assess things thoroughly.
Finding the right partner often requires divine guidance. By faith, we believe we can guide our children and help point them in the right direction.
