Avoiding reckless spending

Question: The festive season is here with us yet again and I am hoping to avoid the dilly decisions of impulse buying. How can I ensure I am psychologically prepared to achieve my goal?

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This year has been unique in many ways and this festive season is no exception. Traditionally it is the time we are expected to share love with those that we cherish.

Plans are by this time in place for people to travel to be with their parents and loved ones either in their rural homes or in other places of their choosing. This is the first time in living memory when love will be shown by keeping away.

Even before Covid-19 advent, Christmas is a well-recognised stressor for many people and many have been known to break down around this time of supposed happiness.

Young wives are at a particular risk. They are expected to be happy to go to some strange rural place, cook for many strangers who order them around because 'she our bride'. Their young husbands are expected to behave 'like men' and keep away from women in the rules of the rural areas at Christmas.

This year, therefore, we will be dealing with the double whammy of Covid-19 and Christmas.

It is against this background of bad news you now seek to find out what is likely to happen in malls and to those who might be forced to find relief from stress by shopping.

First of all, let me confirm that there is a category of men and women who have the condition known as oniomania. This is, as you say, a condition in which one is unable to control buying impulse. What one buys is highly variable and can range from chocolate, to shoes, clothes, cars or even houses! Imelda Marcos, it is said had over 1,200 pairs of shoes. Some believe that this former First lady of the Philippines had the condition.

Now for some basic science that could explain why shopping might make you feel good and in the process lead to some problems. Deep inside the brain there is an area with a complicated name (Nucleus Accumbens) that releases dopamine which is the neurotransmitter that makes you feel good.

This hormone is released so you feel good after eating chocolate, good piece of fatty steak, sex, alcohol or anything else that you associate with feeling good. So, some people feel good by sitting by the sea in the sun while others have the same feeling when they spend time at a mall shopping. All are seeking the same sensation; release of dopamine.

In the event that one is unable to control such activities, then one could be considered to be addicted say to an activity such as gambling or shopping that in some people leads to the release of the same hormone.

Coming back to your question, therefore, you can see how shopping can be a problem because it does in some cases lead to the release of this feel good hormone.

As in other addictions, one fundamental step in the control is to get to understand the condition, and equally important to grasp the harm it does to one's health and wellbeing. Cigarettes harm your lungs, alcohol your liver and shopping your pocket and finances in particular. This said, and as in all other addiction cases, one has to put in place, a means of getting a measure of control.

Firstly is to understand what you might be doing to yourself in this festive season, and the second is to try to plan. Some people find it possible to control some of their addictive tendencies by planning.

For example, with regard to shopping one could give themselves a waiting period of 30 days before buying. Easier said than done some will say, but this also applies to other similar addictions. Others find it easier to plan purchases by writing them down in advance while still others conquer the habit by making sure they have only one credit card with a limit. Others simply avoid shopping malls.

Whatever you decide to do this festive season, make sure you know the danger points and try to understand why this could be a problem for you.