Grief, that agonizing human experience after losing a loved one, is not a respecter of professionalism. It can reduce the most productive employee to a layabout in the short term or derail their career for a long time if not appropriately handled.
While there is no formula for grieving, equipping employees with the right coping skills means they stand a better chance of emerging from the experience without derailing their careers.
Experts also advise that companies should have clear, compassionate leave policies to create a conducive work environment for their staff during such moments of vulnerability.
Claire Wachira, 26, knows too well how crucial a good work environment is when grieving. In 2021, Ms Wachira faced every parent's worst fear: the loss of a child.
The Business Development Executive had been off work as she catered to her 15-month-old daughter in a hospital where she had been admitted.
It was a difficult time, but it helped that her team manager and supervisor regularly checked on her and offered to help however they could.
“On the morning she passed on, I had just talked to them and gave positive feedback,” she recalls.
Her bosses were very supportive when she informed them of the sudden turn of events.
“They contacted my next of kin to help with the funeral arrangements. The senior management also visited me in my house the next day,” she says.
Ms Wachira was away from work for more than 21 days, even though she had exhausted her annual and compassionate leave days.
“Coming back, there were days when I had meltdowns, and my performance was not optimal. My employer allowed me to block my Friday mornings for therapy sessions,” she says.
What's expected of employers
Thuranira Mweti, a Human Resource (HR) practitioner, says compassionate leave policies should explicitly detail the entitlements of employees during such periods.
“The policy should be flexible. If an employee opts to work and then take time off later, he or she should be accommodated,” he adds.
On returning to work, he notes, it’s essential to gently reintegrate the employee. Offering them flexible working hours or assigning them lighter tasks is ideal, allowing them to transition back gradually.
However, Mr Mweti warns against overlooking certain behaviours that may arise during the grieving process.
“While some employees might resort to behaviours such as excessive drinking or exhibit short bursts of anger during work, such tendencies shouldn’t be ignored. A focused discussion with the concerned employee about the potential risks of these coping mechanisms is essential,” he says.
The grey areas
There are also some grey areas to consider, such as when an employee requests compassionate leave for a close friend they refer to as a sibling.
Mr Mweti says the HR department must exercise due diligence in such cases before granting the leave.
If an employee has exhausted their compassionate leave days and faces more loss of loved ones, alternative options should be explored.
“They may opt for their regular leave days unpaid leave,” he advises.
Whichever option is preferred, Mr Mwiti says there is a need for fairness and consistency. “It’s vital for the HR department to handle such scenarios with transparency and without bias.”
What's expected of employees
While the role of employers is clear, what is expected of colleagues? Daisy Cherono, an HR professional at TAID Consultant believes while “it is good to apply emotional intelligence when dealing with a grieving employee, the culture of an organisation also plays a vital role.”
The key? Discretion and sensitivity. Since people experience grief differently, Ms Cherono advises that if an employee chooses to be at work, it is prudent not to pry into their life. Do not burden them.
"Questions such as, “By the way, who has passed? What happened?” should not be asked not unless the bereaved volunteers the information," she says.
If one wishes to help, the proper course of action is to ask colleagues who were close to brief them. Similarly, if one does not get along with the bereaved person for one reason or another, they should stay away.
“In case the whole department is visiting him or her, and everyone has to speak, be modest in your remarks,” she explains.
Ms Cherono adds that colleagues could also offer to take up shifts, tasks, or duties.
“For instance, if the bereaved is a sales personnel, and some calls were to be made, offer to make the calls. Do not spill the beans of your colleague’s bereavement to the client. Ensure you know where they reached before handling them and cover the gaps. Do not also speak ill to a customer and their way of handling it,” she says.
Furthermore, if the colleague had lost their spouse and had shared instances where they had fights, that is not the time to spread that information.
After the burial and the colleague is not fully reintegrated, Ms Cherono says it is only right to cover for them and support them however one can.
“Let this bereaved colleague not go into disciplinary hearing after mourning. Find a way to take up the workload so they can do the least. Employ emotional intelligence to know what to do.”
Counselling psychologist Kagondu Junior emphasises that while the indicators of a grieving employee might differ, certain signals are clear indicators.
For example, an employee displaying difficulty in performing everyday tasks, particularly those they previously relished, is likely grappling with grief.
Mr Kagondu elaborates, “An employee distancing themselves from colleagues and avoiding social events that once fostered friendship is a significant clue.”
There’s also the potential of them becoming excessively engrossed in memories of the deceased or, conversely, avoiding those memories to the point where it hampers their productivity.
Mr Kagondu suggests a threefold approach: asking, actively listening, and being a valuable guide. He advises employers to inquire directly about the preferred kind of support the grieving employee would appreciate, ensuring the aid provided aligns with the employee’s needs.
What the law says
Section 4 of the Employment Act 2007, states that in event of a death of an employee, you are required, as an employer, to pay the salary and other remuneration of the deceased to a legal representative as at the date of death within 30 days of submitting the proof of death.
Compassionate leave in Kenya is taken when an employee is bereaved or has to care for a sick relative or friend.
This leave allows an employee to attend to his/her misfortunes which are usually not planned for and may occur at any time, including death, sickness or accidents of relatives and friends.
So, it’s generally up to the company’s policy to decide which direction to approach the compassionate leave.
